Regina Kizza Memorial and Development Fund: Meaning of Death,

Regina Kizza, 31: Being fed during her last days in life (Photo taken, July 2017).

I have lost relatives before and I have heard and 'understood' death since childhood. I have also read about events leading to deaths. In all, death has never been true to me as at the death of my sister.

I felt it was biggest challenge of my life and a challenge to deal with. Despite ever discussing life after death, the death of my sister justified strongly why I need to understand death and the situation after death to see the situation of my sister -whose life I struggled very hard to save (5 months) and failed. It was such a long time of pain, reciprocating similar pain in caregivers. Prolonged pain and painful death was very hurting and demeaning to life of the living.

"Yes. I sometimes shudder at the thought of such suffering. Monks is India are so vulnerable. We have no help at hand. We are left at our own mercy." -Bhante Bodhipala.

Life can seem such nothing, then; nothing to struggle for, nothing to be pleasurable about, and nothing to live for other than pain and death. Both that either live life happily or miserably meet death. 

"We are mortals. So vulnerable to death but what matters much is the kind of life you've lived. We all need to enjoy our stay on earth." Kitasaala Sarah

Every time my thoughts rush back to her misery, I experience the pain too.  It was too late for me to stop the misery and painful death. And it was not under my full control to stop her death. Suddenly, death became such an enormous issue to resolve, let alone understanding the status of my sister after. 

Death was such daring to the very determined and strong to stop. It just walked in and took life of the loved one we strived to protect day and night. I and the rest.of the family were left powerless and only to surrender without choice. 

It is at this time that I was reminded of all my lessons about death. It is at this time that I conceded that we live now only to die another day, life is such brittle and fragile that vanishes despite fierce efforts to protect it, life is a transit phase of our existence, we are no where before birth - then we are born and start our existence - mature and age - die and cease to exist - no more life. 

It is natural design to die, it is by nature that we will all die. It is ultimate end of life. It awaits everyone. We can do nothing about it. Nothing better or less we can do to overcome death. It is a pending event for all to encounter, regardless of the sorrow we keep ourselves in upon loss of a loved one. 

"...and indeed its make me also more thoughtful about the life [you] are having now. But its universal phenomena, all are suppose to decay, suppose to end up with the death. This is call[ed] Dhamma niyama- means rules of the nature. I believe, which you also could feel. So i have no words to give you, to feel comfort[able]." -Ratana Nanda Bhante.

Thankfully to this reminder - Dhamma niyama. I will keep that in mind as I breakdown the painful loss of my sister.

For whatever we do, we do for life, since it ends soon. And is better to be good because it nurtures life than the bad which breaks life.

"All beings fear death, all love life, then who can you hurt, what wrong can you do?"

- Dhammapada 129-130

For Christians as much as positive psychologists, whatever bad events happens,  there is a special revelation and a good reason for its occurrence. Indeed, the times were becoming so hard and hostile for the survival of the rest of the family that Regina wholly relied on.

 "well you have to be strong cause at times we are put to tests and God has got reason as to why certain things happen". - Golyan Emma

Rest in Peace Regina Kizza‎

- Jacob Waiswa Buganga (Author, Brother to Regina and Lead Organiser of the Regina Kizza Memorial Events)

NB: The humble family of the late Regina Kizza appeals to family, friends and wellwishers to contribute generous towards Regina's funeral and public lecture/community event to draw lessons from her life, strengthen family capacity to live-on and overcome socioeconomic challenges that failed the sustained support for Regina, and start a foundation to help poor families care effectively for disabled relatives - a life Regina lived for 32 years.

How to contribute:

• Volunteering as therapist.
• Donate books.
• Support financially for as low as $50.
• Sponsor shelter building event for poor families for as low as $1500.
• Messages of support to affected families.
• Making contact to make contributions:
• Express interest to volunteer by email to: dishma.imhs@gmail.com
• Donate books by DHL - Plot 15, Narambhai Road, Jinja, Uganda
• Make financial contribution by Western Union - Jacob Waiswa, Jinja or through Barclays Bank, Jinja Branch, Uganda, AC No. 6004667822