Who Benefits More from a Romantic Relationship?

Jacob Waiswa
Peace and Conflict Center
P.O. Box 7062,
Makerere University
Kampala-Uganda
jwaiswa@arts.mak.ac.ug

Once bonded together into a relation, women will use most immediate yet effective resources to control and effectively arrest the attention of her man. The same is the situation before entering romantic relationship.

Once a woman identifies her target, she will do anything to cause her target to respond to her. Different non-verbal cues will be sent out like unique sounds triggered from speeches and objects, wearing short dresses, restlessness seen in form of movements across an audience or group in which her target is, and goalless mission to attract another member of the opposite sex within the sight range of her target.

As part of security guarantees for the relationship successful attempts are made to win the approval of friends and family of the target person and do everything within her means to sustain their approval of her as girl friend or lover to their friend of relative. It becomes a source of stress, though, necessarily to prevent worse stress in case of relationship breakdown.

If married, she will want adequate sex from her man –without having to look elsewhere. Towards that, also, she will do anything to signal her man to avail himself –even if it means faking troubles back at home for him to return. Very common makeup situation is sudden contraction of a worrying disease by one or more of the children.

But, then, sex alone may not mean that the man loves his life. While distances away the woman will want to constantly test her man’s degree of attention based on frequency of calls he is able to make. Where such calls are lacking, she will forge situations to ensure that they are made. Separations due to business trips add to the feeling of insecurity. The temporary loss of his physical presence is hard to take –regardless of the justifiable reasons.

Women will be innovative enough to attain an identity of the fact that she is a wife or a lover. Where such efforts fail, it becomes a mental health issue characterized by depression, loss of self-esteem, denial, attribution errors, psychosomatic disorders, substance abuse, and psychosis.

Three different cases have in the recent past showed women desperate struggle for men’s love and attention as critical needs. In all they created situations that could compel their men to return as soon as possible or at least show that they cared. On their part, men got filled with sadness and chronic stress and depression because of the conception that all was not well back home.

They lost concentration so much that soon asked to cut the trips short, or to send money to heal the situation. While the love and attention too carried an element of financial security, constant assurances that their men will be back soon and how equally he felt sad being far from them was significant form of support to her and the children. Women however went on to exploit the love and attention to reap huge rewards in terms of financial gains.

Indeed, it is not possible to give love and attention without a strong sustainable financial muscle. Financial security always predicts security of healthy romantic relationships and healthy family lives. Women ride on men’s vulnerability of being obliged to providing love and attention to selfishly reap high in terms of money.

Unfortunately, the then unconscious men never really recognized marriage as a business venture for women, until they got so impoverished that marital conflicts and separation became obvious option. That makes relationships tricky ventures to sustain today –in such a mean capitalistic mentality everywhere.

As a consequence, family life is terribly affected characterized by divorces and separations, children neglect and abuses, domestic violence and murders, and national instabilities.