LIFE UNDER CCF AND THE STRUGGLE TO SUCCESS...
My name is Waiswa Jacob. I was raised by a single parent, Namulemo Daisy - in central west Jinja. Born a twin in October 27, 1980 along with other, Babirye Racheal. We were second-born after Tibaga Olive. After us in line was Kiiza Regiina. I joined Christian Children's Fund (CCF) a baby courtesy of Fatima Family Helper Project (FFHP).
It was first located on Oboja road, then on Iganga road, and later found a permanent home in Walukuba. I do not remember being subscribed to it. What i only recall are the moments my mother used to take me to reply sponsor letters, draw pictures, receive festive-season's gifts, receive scholastic material, get medical checkup, sing for visitors and get my share of the term's fees.
My sponsor's name was Mary Jo Horner, a wife to George Horner -a reformist pastor, now at Emmanuel Reformed Church, Westminster in Colorado State, United States. And my case number at FFHP was 427.
With support from CCF i managed to get education from one of the best primary school in Jinja called Victoria Nile School. In Kampala, it was only comparable to Kampala Parents' School and Nakasero Primary School in terms of quality.
Much of what i am is a product of that primary school. While there, English speaking was compulsory and this was enhanced with compulsory borrowing of story books and debate participation.
It was interesting to be asked to tell the whole class what the story book was all about. The same school provided us with access to the pen-pal world and encouraged us to keep writing letters as means to communicate with them. I am happy to have been part of the successful products from that school, and thankful of CCF.
To note is that CCF not only facilitated my early education, they too helped my family in general with project grants to help generate alternative income. From it we could get a decent meal and educate other siblings.
But the tough times are never avoided. It was perhaps time to get hardened off or to experience full life. I started experiencing challenges as young as fourteen, most especially when i went to stay with other relatives. CCF at this level of ordinary level studies only provided half of the requirements, and the family began to experience financial pinch that was eventually hard-felt by me.
While with relatives, life was far different from that i had with my mother. Firstly, i was detached from my sponsor, as i could hardly communicate with her easily. Secondly, my education life was greatly onto by heavy domestic chores, frequent caning, insults to ridicule -accompanied by fear within me and loss of control over my immediate environment.
Every end of classes, worry cropped inside me as i was going into a kind of hell rather than home. The only sigh of relief was the periodical visits by my mother to give me pocket money and at times and reply sponsor letters.
I was eventually taken to a boarding school in Wairaka called M.M. College by my mother. Unfortunately, Museveni's structural adjustment programme caught up with her so hard that got retrenched.
But using her saving i progressed through ordinary level. CCF token, then could be used to shop school uniform and other back-to-school goodies. One shocking day, however, was the opening day of national exams when the administration stopped me from going any closer to examination rooms.
My mother came to plead, but in vain. Suddenly, she disappeared. I was surprised by her actions. Whirling thoughts immediately stormed me. Of course, the negative ones. Without taking part in the national exams, i felt time had been wasted for four years of class-work.
While still in that state, i saw my colleagues enter examination rooms. I sat under a big tree shedding the administration building block feeling defeated. About 30 minutes into exams process, suddenly, my mother came and went straight to the bursar's office.
Another mental-flash, then showed me a positive by 50 percent chance that i could take part in answering exams, as well. Eventually, the director of studies came straight to me and ordered that i rush to the exam room.
I, at last sat the the first paper, and then others. I realized whilst in vacation that my mother had borrowed money to ensure that i sit for the national exams. It was now a longer vacation for me to help distract me from school stress.
It was not so long when senior five selection came to an end. I had to think about furthering my education. Before that, i went to get assurance from my very positive mother as to whether there was a chance for me to finish high school.
She repeatedly said i would. And in silence, i celebrated and went to link-up with peers so as to chat about the forthcoming high-school experience. Being surrounded by peers who loved going to school, too, reinforced my desire to pursue further studies, without even thinking about the differences in family income.
Positive among peers, i equally got a position among the most ambitious kids in the neighborhood. Everyone could say i want to be a doctor, lawyer, soldier, president and so on. We could go as far as pointing at or citing the best personalities claiming it was what we would be, respectively. Interesting.
Still assured of my share from FFHP/CCF enough to do shopping, i attempted high school. The sentiment at this time among beneficiaries of FFHP/CCF was that, money given as fees was not enough and opening of sponsored-children's letters. Accompanying suspicion then turned out to be; that money given was part of the other be “left” with FFHP staff.
In the mid-way of advanced level studies, i began to stumble. I spent several months without going to class. I tended to appear towards exams, and classmates soon nicknamed me academic tourist. I took it because surely, i was in a position where i could hardly attend classes!
My chances of successfully finishing studies became dim. I tried to mobilize for money in vain, so i sat for some time -without going to school. I, from that time acknowledged that i had to take responsibility over by problems.
Interesting enough, i could constantly hear my mothers' voice within me say, "you will study". This made my attitude more solid. Even when attempts to join the army backfired -due to highly qualified cadet-officer candidates, i looked forward with optimism as i bought time.
I went back to school when some money came in. From my experience from Madhivani College, Wairaka and Victoria Nile School, i knew being a school prefect was the only way to ease life at school.
Prefects, in those years were like small gods. They could dictate one's fate upon undesirable behavior. So on the day of voting, i campaigned without a penny and overwhelmingly took the lead. This was my turning point.
I served well as prefect, while ensuring that i excelled academically. By advanced level national exams day, i had last paid fees on my first day at school. It was almost a million Uganda Shillings.
Another phase of trials ensued. Good enough, whenever names of fees defaulters were read before assembly, my name was ever skipped. It was at the end of assembly that the deputy headmistress and prefects patron in charge of exams came to talk to me about the matter. I knew they liked me so much that they never wanted me to have similar treatment like other students.
It was of course humiliating to those who faced it. On my party i felt sorry for them, but also self-pity. They tried to advise me to go talk to my mother -whose financial situation i knew very well, as bad.
On the other hand, i never wanted to stay away from school because in addition to being taught from there, it served as a home to me, especially during holidays. It was my most comfortable place at the time.
But the situation worsened when i could not even pay registration fees towards exams. I rang one relative i knew could help out. She came, but only to be shocked by the accumulated schools fees.
She had had in mind a view that only a small topple-up could clear the whole fees. She looked at me helplessly, and gave school bursar the money she had (200,000/- Uganda Shillings) and left uncertain of my fate.
Because of the too much pain and relentless struggle to sustain bravery, i fell sick and spent several days at the sick-bay under the care of fellow prefects. They where like my real brothers. One of them, Joseph is now a dentist.
Busy vomiting and quietly crying in my small single room, i experienced much emotional pain due to the fact that my education future was unpredictable to me. The situation worsened as the final exams approached.
At that time i could read for 5 minutes then ask myself why i was reading yet there was no chance for me to do exams. I felt h burden was mine alone. I took three fransidars -anti-malaria drugs everyday, and with time, got used yet not recovering from fever-like and headache condition.
The school that was my best home, then became hell. I hated it all-together. As if supporting my feelings, a section of prefects asked me to leave and go "home." It was upon their calls that i suddenly saw no place for me at school.
Two of them escorted me off campus. After a few weeks, i recovered from "serious malaria". I felt more sound healthy-wise, and soon started missing school, while at the same time wondering how i could sit for exams.
My departure from school seemed to be more like self-imposed exile, since as a fees defaulter saw no reason of going back especially with the automatic consequence that i would not sit for final exams.
Still at my best physical health, and with about a week to final exams, i resolved to go and face the school administration, so that i could honestly explain my position. The deputy headmistress and headmaster frankly told me that the matter could only be heard by the director, Mr Gastone Baguma.
I stayed at school until i had to meet him. Within me it was, then time to confront the problem already defined, while on the outside, i was somebody desperately in need of kindness and help. Sincerely, i knew, the administration would be in a great puzzle, as well, because of my services to the school and the fact that i had proved to be a good student.
Faced by endless promises from me to clear fees, that time round, i conceded to the obvious fact that i had failed. So i knocked and as usual he welcomed me into his office. And because of the great liking for me he asked school staff waiting to see him to hold on.
He was a listening man, a gentleman and true leader even so strange in a private school! It was incredible to see him write a note instructing invigorators to allow me do exams. I thanked him and rushed for my first exam paper.
At the end of exams, i, as expected had to leave the home i loved with people who cared for me like my real parents and brothers. So, i went for the long holiday relieved after finishing to sit for all my exam papers, though still physically weak. I felt like one, who had for a month been running a marathon.
The general body weakness lasted for long, so much that a single malaria attack had to be dealt with by drip. A once extravert became a reserved person. It was a moment to retreat, study and re-define myself.
I set my goals that showed i could go past PhD level! I kept my list of incoming engagement under my mattress -the same mattress i had at high-school. I felt it knew my problems and increased my confidence levels whenever i went to and off from bed.
It was upon goal setting that my original personality began cropping up. I started meeting new people and working around a computer. I believed that even without formal training, basic knowledge and skills could be attained.
Whenever i got 500/- Uganda shillings, i went to the internet-cafe to learn one or two things. Computer and internet became my closest ally. During the holiday i enjoyed reading almost about anything. Incidentally, i found a places where i could do unlimited surfing at no cost. The world, then became more interesting than ever.
Around that period, i got a clerical job. The job was not only giving me pocket money, but a junction for meeting new people -something i treasured most. And of course, with my ally -the computer and internet available.
More positive about life then, university education was in sight. Days where running out, so i had to revise my goals, look and admire them. Doing so was like a ritual done in religious setting that could give me confidence to move on.
When university education called, i went to make necessary arrangements -including confirming career choices to take. And at the end of selection, i went to check the admission list. I felt i could get one of the courses i applied for.
During the checking process my name was not appearing anywhere on the selected list of students. I went to complain to the academic registrar, who recorded my name and asked me to come later.
While in another moment of sweating, though not as much as at high-school, i received a call telling me that i had been given community psychology. I was surprised, because it was not part of the courses i applied for. But when i critically thought about the issue longer enough, until i realized it would be a great course for me, and everyone was saying the same.
So i cleared for the start of another academic marathon, first by paying former high-school their debt to be able to retrieve my certificate. I enjoyed my new life in psychology field. But in the middle of the course, i failed to register and adrenaline went up.
I approached the institute director, professor John Munene for permission to sit exams pledging to register at a future date in vain. The same was with the vice-chancellor, who wrote a note to the director. The vice chancellor, however, was flexible -but bureaucracy knocked me out. The director reminded me that his office was autonomous and sanctioned that way by the university council.
The directors decision at his level was impenetrable. Friendly lecturers, on one hand, feared to lose their jobs just for me. So i chose plan D -which required me to used U-turns, answer questions very quickly, hand in and walk out. To act a U-turn, an assistant registrar or invigorator could force me out of the room, that humbly i accepted. I could hide nearby to wait for him or her to leave, then pop in.
Luckily, our exam papers where objectives (multiple-choice questions), which helped me circle 100 questions in not more than 30 minutes as i had planned. I was successful at all that, waiting for another semester when i had to pay registration fees for the past semester as well as for the new one.
Combining the two was so stressful that often i settled down in the last two to three exam papers. Too much stress made me physically ill, stayed most times thinking about “impossible” school challenges, terribly hurt by gum disease and toothaches, as new challenges for me.
At this stage, I had to deal with my poor health, poor diet -and sometimes go hungry and mobilize effort to break odds -and sit for exams. It was so painful that these health problems bothered me till the end of my university education.
Going to a health center was a luxury for me, so i took the pains to the end of my goal (completing university education). The end itself was like a man who has survived drowning when luckily sent off-shores by the waves.
By graduation time, i was still grounded trying to give my body time to recover without medication. My best friend passed by in the morning smartly dressed in a graduation gown -asking me to prepare and move to the freedom square, but found me still in bed.
He pleaded saying it is the only time we could celebrate victory, but his words only provoked more pain. I asked him to go and enjoy his day -promising him that the future had more to celebrations to make, so that he could let me to rest. He, eventually, succumbed to my request and left.
While recuperating could only leave bed to find something to eat and go back to it. And several weeks after graduation everyone in my class was asking me why i was not part of the gathering. This surprised me.
When asked how they realized i was not part of them, the answer was that my presence even in class was always noted because i was friendly to everyone, my class relations was healthy, enjoyed my company and wanted to make a big shout of victory with me as entire class of community psychology.
Often, i smiled back to show pleasure, while promising them of the huge future full of several challenges, yet of bigger celebrations. From hereon, i made a decision to close the old chapter of painful struggle and pursue a new one, moreover on the positive note.
Total recovery from situations like these is a process- whose progress must be monitored and continuously safe-guarded.
After about two months, i felt the need to make societal contribution and advance my career as a community psychologists. Working with Meeting Point International, Kawempe Health Center and Naguru Health Center during my study of adolescents living with HIV/AIDS whilst examining the role of spirituality, positive living and resilience, gave me much interest to explore more of the wellness pottential for young people, especially those living with HIV/AIDS.
During the one-on-one interaction with them, I was happy that most of the young people living positively with HIV/AIDS met the requirements of my scales and had my compliments.
While those -who did not raise 50% of my scales requirements got supported and empowered. And because of the courtesy extended to me by Meeting Point International, - a rare NGO that even supports economic needs of its clients (like education, rent for accommodation and food), i have got a plan to do part-time volunteering with them. Virtually all their clients became friend to me.
Soon after my study, i felt the needed to generate more of concern and knowledge for wellness support -through research and information sharing. My motivation was the fact that i had written articles before most especially for The Monitor publication as long as 2004.
Such a privilege to write for a big media company -covering between a half to a full page was really encouraging. I knew my writing abilities could be an added advantage to my goal of ensuring holistic human and ecological security.
I embarked on finding available opportunities for myself using the skills and knowledge possessed. I began by volunteering to help former classmates, who were still struggling with data analysis and could not afford hiring experts. My mission, then, was to improve on my analytical skills and research experience, as well as attain more knowledge in the topics they were studying or researching about.
Besides research, i also looked around for people who were maladjusted and negative about life. These, still, were mainly people i knew very well. Around August, 2007, my sister got the worst case ever encountered practically my me. She was half way insane; having multiple mental health problems -for which i mobilized effort to holistically handle them.
Spiritual counseling was one very basic programme that had to be adopted as foundation to other intervention measures. I am happy that it was not so long when she improved so much that in the end, all that had to be done was to ensure positive relationship circles to re-socialize her.
Much as helping others was my passion, i never forgot myself, along. Because of the kindness, my former school director showed me, it was about this time that i went to thank him. We talked a lot about the future of the school as well, since i was former head-prefect and chairman Makerere University Old Students' Association.
He charged me with a task of bringing together out-of-school former old students, which i humbly accepted. I then went and embarked on aggressive paperwork -leading to our registration as an Non Government Organization (NGO), and was soon voted to take on the position of chairman.
So, here, leadership continued to follow me. As old students, our work, basically,was to carry out career guidance, motivate and inspire continuing students -so that they too could excel in their endeavors.
While still residing around Makerere, i and some other Ugandans held study meetings about humanism, which advocated for non-violence, community health prevention, respect for diversity and tolerance to different ideologies among other things.
So, greeks who had come to introduce humanism in Ugand made me an orientator at Makerere Univerisity, which i accepted to do in the short period of time; of about a month. I am still in touch with them, though. And around march this, we will be organizing a peace march.
That experience along with others, i felt i needed to take on the challenge of empowering communities to realize their potential under my umbrella, “human and ecological security –through human and ecological justice as the path.
I felt my work had to center around that. So, i did the necessary documentation for future reference -from where i had to do consultancies in adjustment and coping, counseling and information or research support, career development concerns, project implementation, research and policy reviews, organization health and healthy human-environmental relations, etceteras.
In fact, i have written extensively along those lines. Many of my articles can be found one some websites. Actually, one website, www.ezinearticles.com elevated me to the writers' stature of expert author. Also, if my name was typed into google search engine, some of the articles could be seen. Others can be found on my blog page www.situationhealthanalysis.blogspot.com.
In the same period of time, i met a colleague whose interests where just like man. He talked so much about research in behavioral sciences, and he liked to cite even in mere conversations. I acknowledged that we could team-up and be a formidable force to change the world.
Incidentally, he had done a BSc majoring in psychology, while i had purely done psychology (community psychology). He knew almost stuff in community psychology, as well.
So, we set-off to support research needs -something that inspired both of us. In the services world, we preferred using DISHMA CONSULT and GGIG instead of our names. DISHMA is decision making and situation health management, while GGIG is gold guard international group.
As a matter of division of labor, we agreed that I manage field work, data arrangements, and overall reviews, while computerized analysis and statistics remained his. On the best days each could scoop between 300,000/- and 500,000/-.
However, we are still young in the consultancy world and feel so much expriences to again and work-related challenges ahead of us to overcome, yet at the same time, ready. For example, we would like to add more advanced formal education to enrich us in the face of fast-growing consultancy industry.
Indeed, other opportunities should always find one already busy doing something. For instance, i got a chance to train with Mildmay Paediatric Center in basic child care of children living with HIV/AIDS, which found me already doing something in psycho-social and research support.
After a while, i received an email asking me whether i could go and spend some time with Student Partnership Worldwide (SPW) -to carry out baseline surveys and empower communities -through the teaching of sexual reproductive health and life skills in rural Mayuge District.
I definitely took the offer. It was interesting experience that gave me an opportunity to practice a huge part of what i had learned as a student of community psychology. Before that i had never worked in a rural area; more so, having to facilitate learning and give speeches in Lusoga languages before people of all ages.
Well, for the young people, i was already accustomed, and also made some speeches before distinguished people. But, that was never in vernacular. Instead, it was English that was conveniently used
But, then, they were, still, activities that i ever liked doing. Actual work there was like “letting the dogs out of the kennel.” We, as a team, trekked several kilometers organizing workshops, educative video shows and community events.
From my Mayuge work with SPW, i managed not only to create lasting friendship with communities -who i still miss today, but also able to write or contribute to the global community about twenty five (25) articles from just that experience.
As if showing appreciation of my work recently, i was called by them (SPW) to train there in aspects of monitoring and evaluation before a carrying out another baseline survey, again.
Meanwhile, together as research associates or business partners -as we prefer to call ourselves, continue to offer both integrated community mental health services and support for research and information dissemination or sharing -something we all enjoy. New projects this year are functional adult literacy programmes and training in data management.
My vision still remains, “to ensure holistic human and ecological security through the basic value of justice (human and ecological justice)” that will help people realize their goals in a more comfortable and peaceful environment. And in realizing that, just as i do now, i am ready to maintain the fore-front of change and take responsibility to towards that goal.
Waiswa Jacob
Situation Health Analyst
DISHMA-CONSULT
P.O. BOX 8885
KAMPALA-UGANDA
Tel. +256774336277 or +256754890614
www.situationhealthanalysis.blogspot.com
