Pan-Africanism and Family Mental Health: Is there any Link?

Jacob Waiswa
Situation Health Analyst
Dishma-Inc.
P.O. Box 8885,
Kampala-Uganda
Tel. +256392614655/+256752542504
dishma.imhs@gmail.com
www.situationhealthanalysis.blogspot.com

Pan-Africanism is a spirit, it is love, a feeling and an action towards betterment of the land of Africa and the life of people of its origin abroad. Family mental health, on the other hand, is the state of wellness cognitively, spiritually, culturally, socially, economically, environmentally, and even physically in a family environment. To achieve mental wellness, all spheres of person’s life must be interacting harmoniously with each other.

From a case of a client –who suddenly left work and began walking “aimlessly” on streets of Kampala, back home and away from it, accusing every one of her troubles –including those that cared much, losing understanding of the environment by 50%; identify reasons for walking away from work and from home distrustful of everyone and everything, it was found vital to find the extent of pan-Africanism in helping patient recover.

Interventions involved holding discussions colleagues in the field of psychology, with religious leaders, with a psychiatrist in Jinja Psychiatric Ward, reading, analysis of existing data on mental health, analysis of held data verses reviewed literature and professional opinions and recommendations, analysis of observed client behaviors, use of cognitive-based therapy, analysis and consideration of traditional medicine, consideration and analysis of Christian and Muslim prayers (or exorcist powers).

Integrated spirituality to counter lack of trust for anyone and raise self-control, enactment to prove to self that people accused –indeed loved her and wished her well, counseling to give direction, re-socialization with the right people (caring and loving) to gain positive identity (social networking sites like face book were brought into play) and, equally important, drug therapy.

Inculcated positive life values (as part of on-going counseling), like respect, love, tolerance forgiveness, flexibility, peaceful coexistence, harmony, patience, building on positives out of a trying situation, exploring personal development goals, giving back to society, appreciation of diverse cultures and religions, friendliness and talking as way to positive change others, exposure to inspiration books -containing lots of wisdom and/or life-skills -including the Bible and some elements of Islamic teaching.

Cognitive based therapy was highly effective at creating realistic images in the mind of the victim; psychologists met (4:1) preferred to address the case spiritually by seeking interventions of powerful, prayerful Christians; traditional healers where not in any way rightful in their work –only exploited the client by asking huge sums of money –sometimes for no positive results.

In the earliest stages of her illness, churches and Duwa prayers did not yield results despite the client spending a period of six months of residence at a church. They inflicted more fear to glue the patient to their services –so as to continue thriving financially.

The Jinja medical official associated the problem with unsatisfied libido –which made sense as it had been found that the client was a victim of a failed relationship –more so having given everything to secure it in vain.

Analyses of them all showed that the client had been abused during her teenage years causing her to be distrustful with exception of her friends and boy-friend.

That, then, got worsened by father’s abuse in the 20s and neglect by family members she thought were responsible for her wellbeing.

The final trigger was when the boy-friend she loved so much too off-loaded her –and whoever had hurt her in the past (including job loss) was made responsible with statements such as, “she took my boyfriend, she is be-witching me, I saw her during prayers by pastor and sheikh and so she was responsible.”

Nigerian movies were misleading as the patient, a fan of them, took all images for the truth and applying them in the day-to-day running of life. Such images included: a big scale of witchcraft, evils spirits, relationship breakdowns and confrontation –which greatly constituted her perceptions of the environment –be it towards people, animals, or objects.

A combination of drug therapy, good feeding, drinking a lot of fluids to meet bodily needs, counseling, re-experiencing motherly love –as if she was being reborn and re-introducing prayers at this stage, re-socialization to develop a new positive identity –using facilities like face-book to make connections to caring old friends and family members by phone as well as conducting visits to trustworthy and goodwill personalities –while keeping a temporary distance away from people listed to have hurt her –for at least a year, and re-orientation to the work settings were very effective at re-shaping her.

While churches and traditional healers remained prominent in healing practices, initially their approaches were not in anyway useful as they worsened the client’s state of mental wellness through imparting more fear that: “so” and “so” were responsible for the problem at hand.

Spirituality became most effective when introduced at the time a client was being furnished with mother’s love and care –who sooner introduces her to a worthwhile faith for further healing.

The ability of religion to solve human problems cannot be disputed. It is important to note the fact that, there are people in its leadership –who have selfish interests and continuously misguided clients for the sole aim of ripping big –financially. In fact, spirituality being above human understanding and power is excellent haven for the neglected sections of society, the mistreated, and the suffering ones.

When individuals lose trust and confidence in others or every other thing in life, it became an escape route or emergency door (by to going spiritual). But it all began with believing in order to experience the healing effect. Positive religions had means to restore broken social relationship and to cope with rejection.

Numerous studies indicate that the quality of child up-bringing influenced future of a child life confidence of the self, improved intelligence quotient, resilience and sense of trust in the self (self esteem). Brain studies demonstrated that early years were critical in the development of intelligence, personality, and social behavior before the age of three.

On the other hand, the media influences negatively the attitudes already held by individuals –where if a movie showed robbery, adultery, witch-craft, confrontations and murders, viewers took them for real life issues –and went on to form values based on what they have seen.

Mental health interventions call for a wholesome package of inputs that constitute food, fluids to drink, supported information by way of counseling, rightful spiritual guidance and rightful associates –who kept using constructive and positively transformational statements away from hurting people of the past and present.

Encouraging reading culture and exposure of books that impart real life values and skills empowered young people –such that: where there is no parent or doctor intervened in their life. Self liberation came from with knowledge and exposure to right role models. Megna in 2010 once wrote, “Through reading, I have learned a lot about life and the world I never would have known by watching TV for instance.”

In the final analysis, the client had been abused during her teenage years causing her to be distrustful with exception of her friends and boy-friend. That then got worsened by further abuse in 20s and neglect of family members she thought were responsible for her wellbeing.

The final trigger was when the boy-friend she loved so much too off-loaded her –and whoever had hurt her in the past was made responsible with statements such as, “she took my boyfriend, she is be-witching me, I saw her during prayers by pastor and sheik and so was responsible.”

It was a combination of abusive family, neglect and failed love relationship. These combined with negative media influences as Nigerian movies, limited social support to give guidance on coping and problem-solving gave for way panic attacks.

It is therefore important to note that children need love, understanding and acceptance through their teens -which cannot at all feature in broken families or under step-parent care (especially step-mothers).

Such can be a ground for all forms of child abuse -including unexplained torture, rebuking, bullish from mainly the male guardian, constant scrutiny in search for anything reflective of a negative label, and denial of equal opportunities with other children in the home.

Because of that, it is worthwhile that children in their adolescence grow up with their biological parent; in this case -the mother –while ensuring access to physical support through legal and gender support systems.

Patience and persistent matters a lot as no specific time line can be attached to complete healing. It is the kind that takes between one and half to two years. Moral support continues into the youthful and adult years –since no man is an island. We need each other for strength, encouragement, mutual assistance to achieve life goals.

With the concept of pan-Africanism too in line with the values of unity, cooperation, love in development, it serves a purpose in directing supportive forces against a social evil and assimilation of negative past together for a positive future –henceforth a means to control and prevent psychological trauma from individual level, to family level, to national level, and to global level –benefiting Africans in Africa and in Diaspora directly, and indirectly everyone –through meetings, bargaining and negotiation at different levels to solve problems and keep peace.

Addressing Global Problems at Family Level-A Case of an Abused and Neglected African Child

Family mental health is critical determinant of future of wars, turmoil and their consequences while parenting justified parenthood through realization of noble roles in respect of child development and growth that features child re-socialization and projection to independence, learning to co-exist peacefully with family members and society, and problem-solving to achieve defined goals in life.

As the family continues to play its development role -both moral and physical support in the life of a child, the community too begins to identify its development concerns and expectations of that child. This, though, as for families, can be for the good or worse. Responsibility on the part of the family and community and eventual decisions made, thus, contribute to mental wellness of the child, free from abuse and neglect.


For example, absence of love, trust, and feeling of security on the part of the child influence later development outlooks and, in years to come, it is society that either benefits or suffers. Some of the outcomes can be aggressiveness, fears, anxieties, and broken ambitions that, with time, go behavioral in the forms of substance abuse, irrational alliances or relationship to seek security, underachievement, anti-social behaviors, authoritative and abusive parenting, poor role modeling of parents –as some turn criminals, prostitutes or get diseased; and breakdown of the social fabric with violence in homes and in the wider society.
From the level of a family such outcomes later are manifested in communities -at places of work or in very important political positions -and these become corrupt national leaders, or military aggressors of nations in which masses suffer from acts of violence and psychological trauma.

The challenges of children growing in broken families include; the big burden to achieve life goals on their own -with no hope of parental intervention; no guidance to making wise health decisions, to ensure personal safety and healthy social assimilation.

That, generates high pressure and chronic stress to achieve, to break development barriers mentally, socially and institutionally; and child develops along the fear of dropping out of school due to inability to pay fees on his or her own –catapulted by failure to concentrate and excel academically, to attain a good career, inability to solve problems associated with choosing and having healthy relationships, and inability to manage chronic stress that characterizes his or her family environment –which shapes child's future into adulthood and in responsible social positions that the future provides. The child continues to live a life without social support and lack of confidence to seek it to viably building resilience required to succeed in life.

It was concluded from an intervention in the life of an abused child that the amount of resilience resulting from positive reinforcement from friends, teachers and inspiring leaders or roles models from media products, supported adaptability or coping -and some kind of positive spiritual inclinations greatly catapulted abused and neglected children through traps of childhood suffocation, underachievement, psycho-pathological enclaves and demeaning parental hostilities. It should be noted that involvement of in godly activities worked best for them in situations –where the victim trusted no one -including those who really loved them.

In addition to community intervention at village level, or at national level, or regional and global forces of peace restructuring, reconciliation and actual provision of physical needs to children goes a long way towards pacification of the individual or society, ensuring access to development needs and support information to successful yet sustainable human development –as critical means to control and prevent global wars and psychological trauma.

Graduate Peace and Conflict Studies Program
Makerere University
P.O. Box 7062, Kampala-Uganda
jwaiswa@arts.mak.ac.ug

WHEN SHOULD IT BE TIME OUT FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS?

A family, which is known to be smallest unit of society, does offer the earliest care to a child and providing all necessary essentials for its healthy development. It is a challenging time for parents -as they go through thin and thick to ensure survival and well being of children. At different development stages the child is handed knowledge and skills of societal integrated living and self-care.

Gradually, the children learns to socialize with people out-side the family, from whom they learns a lot more that could have been missed in the family though it doe retain the monitoring or supervision role.

Depending on the level of knowledge and skills of parenting, parents or guardians could act either authoritarian, laissez-faire, neglectful, abusive or reasonably transformative of children lives to most constructive ways -while giving child space to make positive self-discoveries.

Whatever category a parent or guardian considered himself or herself to be will determine the future attitudes and behaviors of the child for the better or worse. Usually society is the ultimate judge of children as the relate away from families. It makes or unmakes the child as he or she grows.

However, children need support and supervision up to the time they can make better judgements over basic life-challenges for survival and healthy development. This is the time when he or she learns that life is an investment which must be invested into well and carefully in the face of certain canning situations.

On such a basis, all decisions made would be for the purposes of preserving life or good health in its totality -be it in social relations, spiritual relations, economic, legal, physical etc. His or her focus would be always to excel and move towards independent thinking and actions.

Children of the kind would always have positive pressure from the positive contributions their parents relentless make. They would look forward to it -even when depleted of positive energy. The child's positive outlook will only recycle the positive energies through most difficult and challenging times.

The glass-handler parent, who likes to act as the pain and happiness of a child without a child's own experience, only postpones harder times to deal with for the child. He or she would be eventually over-stretched unhealthy states when old-age finally crops in. The commonest symptoms, then, are mild-to-chronic depression, hypertension and heart-attacks -among other complications.

Under such parental management, a child is never allowed to go an extra mile to explore his or her environment. Like presidential protection guard brigade, the parent does the practical learning on child's behalf, while on the other hand -adversely affecting future emotional stability. For example, a child would never be secure in absence of his or her parent he or she could be the kind ever suspicious and full of mistrust.

If he or she got used to the parent's over-functioning role, personal values characterizing individual uniqueness could be found lacking, because from the years before and through the teens, the child needs to learn from the model parent. It can be called the first level of education in the child's career development.

So, upon leaving the family to start independent life, they are only whisked away by whichever influences encountered from society -without scrutiny or questioning. One must only pray to the gods that the kind of influences do not turn out to be life-threatening -as the most brutal teacher (the World) takes over from the parent.

When the child takes longer to learn expected life-skills and knowledge of associated dangers accruing to different stages of child's development, the situation becomes unbearable -without glass handler.

Similarly, when glass handler gets exhausted from continued over-functioning role -amidst so many other challenges in the world, most of which that give the hardest home-work, the child could be drown into substance abuse, risky gang groups and behaviors, giving in for sex with ease, early and stressful parenthood and sometimes commit suicide.

It would take extra brains and physical strength as well as society intervention for a child to overcome the extreme development challenges -without the support of the parents or when they pass away due to related problems.

It would be through a lot of stress, confusion, chronic depressions, antisocial behaviors, societal disciplinary actions -on the other hand, frequent episodes of psychosis, total mental break down before a child rediscovers the best he can be and the kind of contributions to make for societal benefit.

The unfortunate bit is that the trend can be intergenerational as he or she may treat children born of her or him the same as experiences encountered. However, with total recovery, having decided to begin a new chapter, he too could start a healthy generation after him or her.

At the center of a big extended family and friends circle, so darling to him, a child whilst grown may be expected to be in physical contact with thousands of them all -even if he has to meet core marriage, parenting, work and further training -elsewhere that consumes 100% of his time.

And because the extended family is desperate to have a former child, who now happens to be an adult with a lot more responsibilities -to remain a pet or one subject to commands all day like what society tend to do before little children, negative conflicts ensue -with lots of infuriating statements as “spoilt child, who never visits extended family members, does not know his people and does not show concern for his people.”

Some, perhaps, would be regretting on behalf of the child's natural parents why he was raised, they continue to act irritatingly or damagingly, until the then victim bursts out in extreme disgust. That, along with hectic routines, soon become part of the worst illnesses ever faced.

Statements made, indeed, could cause terrible nightmares -so much that peace could only be struck -when one resigned from such horrible family relations and at-the-time friends. -who prove to be toxic all the time, a curse or a punishment for being in some sort of relationship.

Times have changed so much that the constraints of surviving in current modern world forces or pressures really cause some people to abandon their own families, be abusive or even kill them. Key of the factors leading to endless family problems is rivalry that itself result from competition for favors usually corrupt family heads.

In other cases, family members could want to keep a type of relationship with the grown up man or woman as that of a little baby, who must be protected from the marital difficulties he or she may be going through. They believe the spouse remains a visitor: a concept that greatly contrasts from fellow partner in marriage. In spite of the need to nurture one's blissful relationship, others (members of the extended family) choose to be a nail in the foot.

They could never believe that it is a different stage of life in the the now old man or woman to be treated a lot differently than when he or she was young. Even at this stage there are newer responsibilities that must have emerged and need the closest attention and resources such as; raising children and working very hard to provide for them in the most challenging world today.

Under certain circumstances, because there is now discomfort on either side: the new found adult responsibilities and stressing relationship from the huge bracket of family members, he or she could be forced to break-off and make a few steps back on basis of business priority for better self-composure, suitable self-organization and comfort.

It can be a time reached one one has to be a lot more assertive, though with gentility to state and explain the hard situation -especially when it really becomes ugly. When so overwhelming, it would be important to work on the most pressing issues, until a time when there would be space to reach out to them -all guided by a humble explanation.

Of course, when there is time -for example, a holiday away from work and reduced pressure of the numerous demands common today, the so called child would be perhaps very willing to stretch out to family members and reunite with friends, as well.

Otherwise, some of the cultures people originate from tend to be harmful to one's general health; mentally and physically -especially when such a relationship is tense. Protecting one's self from the harm inheritable by generations to come phenomenon over years, one must not be ashamed to choose what is healthy for him or her to do -regardless of the pressure. Upon doing so, pressure would be replaced by a big sigh of relief -as though back to real life.

Remember that in some families or cultures, there are relationship styles that serious implication to the health and survival of future generations like nurturing some dietary omissions, causing people to suffer, punishing them to injurious levels or even love to kill and to create circles of hate and envy -all of which are potentially so toxic to the welfare and mental health of others.

It is important that solid decisions are made on the basis of well entrenched life nurturing values -for one's self and others -where ill-health should not be long-term issue on the lives of future generations. Instead, it (ill-health) should be something that can be averted now, while speaking out one's values should be another item to ever do without any embarrassment.


Jacob Waiswa
Situation Health Analyst
www.situationhealthanalysis.blogspot.com

DECISION MAKING OVER A PROBLEM SIBLING: AN EMAIL CONVERSATION BETWEEN JACOB AND ANDREW

Hi Jacob,

I guest you are still fighting just like me and how is your wife to be non other than Agnes. Back to the above subject what was Sunday's case, because i have still failed to know what really happened, since the people i expected can't give me answers. And i do not want to ask Sam, the guardian, because this might remind him again. Please just write to me so that i can be able to get the story and make my judgment.

You know i have been advising him; that's why all this never happened but it seemed he had forgotten and i do not know what to tell him; am only thinking of not talking to him about the issue. I shall be grateful upon receiving your mail.

Thanks,
Andrew

Hi Andy,

Yeah, the struggle continues; we should never give up the faith. I am downed so much in the struggle that Agnes sometimes means nothing to  me. I find myself sacrificing her. Hope i am right.

About Sunday's issues; well, he narrated to me about how despite helping out at home, some was still on his neck, and that he was expelling everybody including Allan, and Patricia's brother. When i paid a visit to them, and see if i could read weekend newspapers, i found them all in a panic calling other people.

But Sunday assured me that he had gotten transport, though was not enough. When i probed him further, he went to say that he was someone who liked to do what he wished, on the other hand, which Sam so often got alarmed with like absenteeism from home -when he was most needed, spending 24 hours on TV -all irked Sam.
Despite his warnings, they never heeded. I found Sunday on the other hand a defiant guy, who never give a damn. He needs people, who will understand that he is an adolescent to be handled with patience, and where talking never ends.

The other, related, was about untidiness of the house. Sam one day came and found the water from the tap having flooded the kitchen, and he wondered what the hell went on, why they never cleaned it in the first place, and why the carelessness.
According to Sunday, it was the other guy whose name i have forgotten, who often led the Cell that forgot to switch off the tap. For Sam, he could not look into that. It seems Sunday and the groups had already created a bad impression for himself.

Amidst such, it was like Sam was now fed up by them, suggesting to them about bringing some other girl to replace them. She is sort of your cousin. For, he had failed with the boys worlds.

It is disturbing even for me to understand, though i already know the complexity of staying with relatives. Sunday must have behaved as though he was in front of his real parents, who would care less. But i also know that, somebody who is not your parent will never treat you the same. You have to learn the new person and behave accordingly. You can either be for him or not.

Nevertheless, personal freedom sometimes might supersede current living conditions set by others. There are some things one may want to do that conflict with others or one may want to manage his or her time but never at liberty.
 
Freedom of the kind can always be gotten when one eventually moves towards independence and later interdependence. This is proven and researched about. Read seven habits of highly effective people by Stephen Convey.
Best Regards,
Jacob
Hi Jacob,
Sunday i'm told was given transport money to go with the Allan and others to the village but he hesitated, reason i can't explain. He doesn't want to listen and he thinks reaching A'level is a very big achievement but that is totally nothing.

Sam is tough but you know sometimes you don't need fire to set off fire and that's what he has never known and besides if someone doesn't want you , why superglu. I was blamed for a spoilt washing machine when i was in the village but i just kept quiet because i knew what i wanted. Sunday should respect Sam because he's older,also at home.

There was a time i recall he sent Brenda (Sam's wife) to Sam asking him for transport money. let me quote "Brenda go and tell Sam that where is my transport money" yet this was Sam's money! Is this the best way to ask for money? any way it has happened and Sam told our mum that he doesn't want Sunday to stay in his home any more.

This is a guy who has to go through university and that would be like his hostel just like Moffat is doing now due to fees increase. I also want to advise Moffat before it is already too late since there are already complaining of him disappearing without telling people his where about and also his phone is off.

I also recall; Sam took Sunday to bus park with the Allan and group, but Sunday opted to get out of the bus and arrived in Lira; i think two days later, no one knew his where-about. I'm telling you the man has stories which are not interesting to hear, and he's already in Sam's bad books, i guess. So that will not change. I might come to Kampala next week if all goes well for some job am trying to chase here i hope it works out this week so that next week am free to travel.

Thanks,

Andrew

THE REALITIES: MEETING THE EXPECTATIONS OF CHILD EDUCATION AS A RIGHT

Education is commonly perceived as one important and rewarding adventure anyone ought to take. Before the coming of missionaries to Africa, there was the informal type of education prepared for the child; right from birth.

Expectations and responsibilities were outlined for the child through different stages of life –for example; domestic roles, understanding family and clan history, artisan works, farming, hunting, marriage responsibilities, parenthood, social norms, and preparing oneself and others for death.

Then, there came missionary and/or religious instruction, which had isolated places –where children could converge for instructions to become medical workers, lawyers, bankers, office clerks, clerics and teachers.

The earlier (African) education system was compulsory –meant to ensure family and social responsibility, while western type brought in new cultures and marketed them like the best options for Africans.

It even detached communities from their original roles –and Africans began examining themselves more as individuals than community members. And, as of now, not any one can entirely access it, but rather, the privileged few.

With curiosity being an instinctual part of a human being, man’s spiritual-persona and his relentless effort to fill knowledge or spiritual gaps could be fun adventuring in both systems (African tradition and Western traditions). In that way, the different gaps, which might be created under globalization would be filled.

As education disparities rose sharply, more children missed out –because of either poor local attitudes towards classroom-education or strong emphasis for the traditional education system, which emphasized married and family responsibility at some stage. As of 2008 in rural Mayuge, the highest level a child went with education was mostly (over 80%) primary seven –to pave way for marriage and handyman-ship.

It is the successful education modernists, who wanted other community members to make careers through western, and felt African educational arrangement must be broken through initiatives as right to education (western type). In the traditional way, interestingly, it was as though natural going through its educational drills.

In the western type, today, deficits are realized to necessitate the institution of initiatives as education as a right. But, it becomes favorable accessing an all-round education that considers both traditional and western systems –which curiosity cannot hesitate to take on.

But, how ready are Africans to receiving some “strange” lessons from the western education system, as acceptance to homosexuality –with it as alternative sexual lifestyle alongside primary hetero-sexual one?

In some areas of Africa, gay ideology has already taken root and being practiced, while in others like Uganda, it is still alien and being strongly resisted in an attempt to protect cultural and religious positions.

But,then, such would contradictory –having noted that the practice has been in the traditions of Buganda (in the Kings palace) and among some Christians (mainly in the catholic religion), according to history.

Morality to them was another issue. Perhaps, the crusade against gay relationships could focus more on set and desired morals than merely being cultural and religious, since historically both failed to stop gay practice in Buganda in particular and Uganda in general.

It, indeed, could mean having to form expected or standardized social values and behaviors that provides for an African position on gay proposals and practices, and have them approved by people’s parliament.

And about how morality is being defined to those who need to know, must be made clear and explained to support the set moral grounds –upon which gay culture would have been made illegal. Otherwise, human curiosity will continuously be defining and re-defining morality in its own way –and begging for what it finally considers morally right.

In rural Mayuge District, parents –who made successful careers in agro-business, found little “substance” in having to take their children to school. Since the children have grown up seeing family wealth being generated through farming, carpentry, building and transportation business, they would look out to such economic activities, as well.

Following the suppressed feelings about education as an avenue to success, very poor attitudes towards it would contagiously spread through families to communities, as would be for the generations to come.

The children, on top of the conflict between educational pressure and resilience, developed “very poor” attitudes towards seals off their mindsets, so much that it could take a big community (multi-dimensional) intervention to help reverse the then “bad” community trend.

The disabled children, on the other hand, get either the worst audience or simply lack a voice that addresses their educational challenges. Deep in rural areas, they chronically face stigma and abject lack of attention –as though life imprisonment to them by the communities in which they live.

Poverty turns hopes of caregivers having their disabled children get meaningful educational life deem. Besides, their specially-tailored services are limited to towns such that between rural areas and town are several miles –which make it too expensive for a peasant family to travel.

In recent times, education has been categorized as a need that must be matched with other human needs and priority ones taken. As the case for most Ugandans today, if one cannot find food, shelters, clothing and life insurance, he or she could find education as a secondary need or something that has to be relaxed for what is basic.

To some, in the view of others focusing on basic needs, it could seem as though a deliberate vote for ignorance. Doing so, however, would so much of mockery. It is only the very poor, who could best understand the basic needs point.

Now, with roaming poverty, affected communities will view education as a privilege that is hard to attain. Even with universal primary education (UPE) and universal secondary education (USE) programs in place; lack of clothing, child-starvation and inability to concentrate on learning could only lead to subsequent program failures –as policy-makers sit in their comfort zones assuming all is well.

Rather than aggressive and continuous monitoring and evaluation of the program, the boneless politicking on how successful it could have been, coupled with corruption cancer –soon overshadows its progress cyclically as more funding is injected.

Along with domestic violence, child abuse and neglect, matters worsen for child-education in as far as acceleration of failure rate of the program is concerned. Of course, there is a big question of quality education; where it can be found and its affordability –to determine actual right to and benefit from it.

What children see as negative outcomes (as unemployment) from their elders’ education accomplishments could lead to huge discouragement –with it (education) having failed to transform them into responsible citizens, to address real life or community needs, and seem more of time wasted at school than an investment or an asset.

As parents begin to view education as reliability and a source of poverty, they could get tempted to phase out the obligation to educate their children in favor of the much needed economic solutions like investing in a family farm project, hotel businesses or any other profitable business venture.

Because of that, child education could cease to be a right and become a burden, which families and/or communities will want be excused from and, as a strongest appeal to whoever viewed it the contrary.

Jacob Waiswa
Situation Health Analyst
www.situationhealthanalysis.blogspot.com

LIFE UNDER CCF AND THE STRUGGLE TO SUCCESS...

LIFE UNDER CCF AND THE STRUGGLE TO SUCCESS...

My name is Waiswa Jacob. I was raised by a single parent, Namulemo Daisy - in central west Jinja. Born a twin in October 27, 1980 along with other, Babirye Racheal. We were second-born after Tibaga Olive. After us in line was Kiiza Regiina. I joined Christian Children's Fund (CCF) a baby courtesy of Fatima Family Helper Project (FFHP).

It was first located on Oboja road, then on Iganga road, and later found a permanent home in Walukuba. I do not remember being subscribed to it. What i only recall are the moments my mother used to take me to reply sponsor letters, draw pictures, receive festive-season's gifts, receive scholastic material, get medical checkup, sing for visitors and get my share of the term's fees.

My sponsor's name was Mary Jo Horner, a wife to George Horner -a reformist pastor, now at Emmanuel Reformed Church, Westminster in Colorado State, United States. And my case number at FFHP was 427.

With support from CCF i managed to get education from one of the best primary school in Jinja called Victoria Nile School. In Kampala, it was only comparable to Kampala Parents' School and Nakasero Primary School in terms of quality.

Much of what i am is a product of that primary school. While there, English speaking was compulsory and this was enhanced with compulsory borrowing of story books and debate participation.

It was interesting to be asked to tell the whole class what the story book was all about. The same school provided us with access to the pen-pal world and encouraged us to keep writing letters as means to communicate with them. I am happy to have been part of the successful products from that school, and thankful of CCF.

To note is that CCF not only facilitated my early education, they too helped my family in general with project grants to help generate alternative income. From it we could get a decent meal and educate other siblings.

But the tough times are never avoided. It was perhaps time to get hardened off or to experience full life. I started experiencing challenges as young as fourteen, most especially when i went to stay with other relatives. CCF at this level of ordinary level studies only provided half of the requirements, and the family began to experience financial pinch that was eventually hard-felt by me.

While with relatives, life was far different from that i had with my mother. Firstly, i was detached from my sponsor, as i could hardly communicate with her easily. Secondly, my education life was greatly onto by heavy domestic chores, frequent caning, insults to ridicule -accompanied by fear within me and loss of control over my immediate environment.

Every end of classes, worry cropped inside me as i was going into a kind of hell rather than home. The only sigh of relief was the periodical visits by my mother to give me pocket money and at times and reply sponsor letters.

I was eventually taken to a boarding school in Wairaka called M.M. College by my mother. Unfortunately, Museveni's structural adjustment programme caught up with her so hard that got retrenched.

But using her saving i progressed through ordinary level. CCF token, then could be used to shop school uniform and other back-to-school goodies. One shocking day, however, was the opening day of national exams when the administration stopped me from going any closer to examination rooms.

My mother came to plead, but in vain. Suddenly, she disappeared. I was surprised by her actions. Whirling thoughts immediately stormed me. Of course, the negative ones. Without taking part in the national exams, i felt time had been wasted for four years of class-work.

While still in that state, i saw my colleagues enter examination rooms. I sat under a big tree shedding the administration building block feeling defeated. About 30 minutes into exams process, suddenly, my mother came and went straight to the bursar's office.

Another mental-flash, then showed me a positive by 50 percent chance that i could take part in answering exams, as well. Eventually, the director of studies came straight to me and ordered that i rush to the exam room.

I, at last sat the the first paper, and then others. I realized whilst in vacation that my mother had borrowed money to ensure that i sit for the national exams. It was now a longer vacation for me to help distract me from school stress.

It was not so long when senior five selection came to an end. I had to think about furthering my education. Before that, i went to get assurance from my very positive mother as to whether there was a chance for me to finish high school.

She repeatedly said i would. And in silence, i celebrated and went to link-up with peers so as to chat about the forthcoming high-school experience. Being surrounded by peers who loved going to school, too, reinforced my desire to pursue further studies, without even thinking about the differences in family income.

Positive among peers, i equally got a position among the most ambitious kids in the neighborhood. Everyone could say i want to be a doctor, lawyer, soldier, president and so on. We could go as far as pointing at or citing the best personalities claiming it was what we would be, respectively. Interesting.

Still assured of my share from FFHP/CCF enough to do shopping, i attempted high school. The sentiment at this time among beneficiaries of FFHP/CCF was that, money given as fees was not enough and opening of sponsored-children's letters. Accompanying suspicion then turned out to be; that money given was part of the other be “left” with FFHP staff.

In the mid-way of advanced level studies, i began to stumble. I spent several months without going to class. I tended to appear towards exams, and classmates soon nicknamed me academic tourist. I took it because surely, i was in a position where i could hardly attend classes!

My chances of successfully finishing studies became dim. I tried to mobilize for money in vain, so i sat for some time -without going to school. I, from that time acknowledged that i had to take responsibility over by problems.

Interesting enough, i could constantly hear my mothers' voice within me say, "you will study". This made my attitude more solid. Even when attempts to join the army backfired -due to highly qualified cadet-officer candidates, i looked forward with optimism as i bought time.

I went back to school when some money came in. From my experience from Madhivani College, Wairaka and Victoria Nile School, i knew being a school prefect was the only way to ease life at school.

Prefects, in those years were like small gods. They could dictate one's fate upon undesirable behavior. So on the day of voting, i campaigned without a penny and overwhelmingly took the lead. This was my turning point.

I served well as prefect, while ensuring that i excelled academically. By advanced level national exams day, i had last paid fees on my first day at school. It was almost a million Uganda Shillings.

Another phase of trials ensued. Good enough, whenever names of fees defaulters were read before assembly, my name was ever skipped. It was at the end of assembly that the deputy headmistress and prefects patron in charge of exams came to talk to me about the matter. I knew they liked me so much that they never wanted me to have similar treatment like other students.

It was of course humiliating to those who faced it. On my party i felt sorry for them, but also self-pity. They tried to advise me to go talk to my mother -whose financial situation i knew very well, as bad.

On the other hand, i never wanted to stay away from school because in addition to being taught from there, it served as a home to me, especially during holidays. It was my most comfortable place at the time.

But the situation worsened when i could not even pay registration fees towards exams. I rang one relative i knew could help out. She came, but only to be shocked by the accumulated schools fees.

She had had in mind a view that only a small topple-up could clear the whole fees. She looked at me helplessly, and gave school bursar the money she had (200,000/- Uganda Shillings) and left uncertain of my fate.

Because of the too much pain and relentless struggle to sustain bravery, i fell sick and spent several days at the sick-bay under the care of fellow prefects. They where like my real brothers. One of them, Joseph is now a dentist.

Busy vomiting and quietly crying in my small single room, i experienced much emotional pain due to the fact that my education future was unpredictable to me. The situation worsened as the final exams approached.

At that time i could read for 5 minutes then ask myself why i was reading yet there was no chance for me to do exams. I felt h burden was mine alone. I took three fransidars -anti-malaria drugs everyday, and with time, got used yet not recovering from fever-like and headache condition.

The school that was my best home, then became hell. I hated it all-together. As if supporting my feelings, a section of prefects asked me to leave and go "home." It was upon their calls that i suddenly saw no place for me at school.

Two of them escorted me off campus. After a few weeks, i recovered from "serious malaria". I felt more sound healthy-wise, and soon started missing school, while at the same time wondering how i could sit for exams.

My departure from school seemed to be more like self-imposed exile, since as a fees defaulter saw no reason of going back especially with the automatic consequence that i would not sit for final exams.

Still at my best physical health, and with about a week to final exams, i resolved to go and face the school administration, so that i could honestly explain my position. The deputy headmistress and headmaster frankly told me that the matter could only be heard by the director, Mr Gastone Baguma.

I stayed at school until i had to meet him. Within me it was, then time to confront the problem already defined, while on the outside, i was somebody desperately in need of kindness and help. Sincerely, i knew, the administration would be in a great puzzle, as well, because of my services to the school and the fact that i had proved to be a good student.

Faced by endless promises from me to clear fees, that time round, i conceded to the obvious fact that i had failed. So i knocked and as usual he welcomed me into his office. And because of the great liking for me he asked school staff waiting to see him to hold on.

He was a listening man, a gentleman and true leader even so strange in a private school! It was incredible to see him write a note instructing invigorators to allow me do exams. I thanked him and rushed for my first exam paper.

At the end of exams, i, as expected had to leave the home i loved with people who cared for me like my real parents and brothers. So, i went for the long holiday relieved after finishing to sit for all my exam papers, though still physically weak. I felt like one, who had for a month been running a marathon.

The general body weakness lasted for long, so much that a single malaria attack had to be dealt with by drip. A once extravert became a reserved person. It was a moment to retreat, study and re-define myself.

I set my goals that showed i could go past PhD level! I kept my list of incoming engagement under my mattress -the same mattress i had at high-school. I felt it knew my problems and increased my confidence levels whenever i went to and off from bed.

It was upon goal setting that my original personality began cropping up. I started meeting new people and working around a computer. I believed that even without formal training, basic knowledge and skills could be attained.

Whenever i got 500/- Uganda shillings, i went to the internet-cafe to learn one or two things. Computer and internet became my closest ally. During the holiday i enjoyed reading almost about anything. Incidentally, i found a places where i could do unlimited surfing at no cost. The world, then became more interesting than ever.

Around that period, i got a clerical job. The job was not only giving me pocket money, but a junction for meeting new people -something i treasured most. And of course, with my ally -the computer and internet available.

More positive about life then, university education was in sight. Days where running out, so i had to revise my goals, look and admire them. Doing so was like a ritual done in religious setting that could give me confidence to move on.

When university education called, i went to make necessary arrangements -including confirming career choices to take. And at the end of selection, i went to check the admission list. I felt i could get one of the courses i applied for.

During the checking process my name was not appearing anywhere on the selected list of students. I went to complain to the academic registrar, who recorded my name and asked me to come later.

While in another moment of sweating, though not as much as at high-school, i received a call telling me that i had been given community psychology. I was surprised, because it was not part of the courses i applied for. But when i critically thought about the issue longer enough, until i realized it would be a great course for me, and everyone was saying the same.

So i cleared for the start of another academic marathon, first by paying former high-school their debt to be able to retrieve my certificate. I enjoyed my new life in psychology field. But in the middle of the course, i failed to register and adrenaline went up.

I approached the institute director, professor John Munene for permission to sit exams pledging to register at a future date in vain. The same was with the vice-chancellor, who wrote a note to the director. The vice chancellor, however, was flexible -but bureaucracy knocked me out. The director reminded me that his office was autonomous and sanctioned that way by the university council.

The directors decision at his level was impenetrable. Friendly lecturers, on one hand, feared to lose their jobs just for me. So i chose plan D -which required me to used U-turns, answer questions very quickly, hand in and walk out. To act a U-turn, an assistant registrar or invigorator could force me out of the room, that humbly i accepted. I could hide nearby to wait for him or her to leave, then pop in.

Luckily, our exam papers where objectives (multiple-choice questions), which helped me circle 100 questions in not more than 30 minutes as i had planned. I was successful at all that, waiting for another semester when i had to pay registration fees for the past semester as well as for the new one.

Combining the two was so stressful that often i settled down in the last two to three exam papers. Too much stress made me physically ill, stayed most times thinking about “impossible” school challenges, terribly hurt by gum disease and toothaches, as new challenges for me.

At this stage, I had to deal with my poor health, poor diet -and sometimes go hungry and mobilize effort to break odds -and sit for exams. It was so painful that these health problems bothered me till the end of my university education.

Going to a health center was a luxury for me, so i took the pains to the end of my goal (completing university education). The end itself was like a man who has survived drowning when luckily sent off-shores by the waves.

By graduation time, i was still grounded trying to give my body time to recover without medication. My best friend passed by in the morning smartly dressed in a graduation gown -asking me to prepare and move to the freedom square, but found me still in bed.

He pleaded saying it is the only time we could celebrate victory, but his words only provoked more pain. I asked him to go and enjoy his day -promising him that the future had more to celebrations to make, so that he could let me to rest. He, eventually, succumbed to my request and left.

While recuperating could only leave bed to find something to eat and go back to it. And several weeks after graduation everyone in my class was asking me why i was not part of the gathering. This surprised me.

When asked how they realized i was not part of them, the answer was that my presence even in class was always noted because i was friendly to everyone, my class relations was healthy, enjoyed my company and wanted to make a big shout of victory with me as entire class of community psychology.

Often, i smiled back to show pleasure, while promising them of the huge future full of several challenges, yet of bigger celebrations. From hereon, i made a decision to close the old chapter of painful struggle and pursue a new one, moreover on the positive note.

Total recovery from situations like these is a process- whose progress must be monitored and continuously safe-guarded.

After about two months, i felt the need to make societal contribution and advance my career as a community psychologists. Working with Meeting Point International, Kawempe Health Center and Naguru Health Center during my study of adolescents living with HIV/AIDS whilst examining the role of spirituality, positive living and resilience, gave me much interest to explore more of the wellness pottential for young people, especially those living with HIV/AIDS.

During the one-on-one interaction with them, I was happy that most of the young people living positively with HIV/AIDS met the requirements of my scales and had my compliments.

While those -who did not raise 50% of my scales requirements got supported and empowered. And because of the courtesy extended to me by Meeting Point International, - a rare NGO that even supports economic needs of its clients (like education, rent for accommodation and food), i have got a plan to do part-time volunteering with them. Virtually all their clients became friend to me.

Soon after my study, i felt the needed to generate more of concern and knowledge for wellness support -through research and information sharing. My motivation was the fact that i had written articles before most especially for The Monitor publication as long as 2004.

Such a privilege to write for a big media company -covering between a half to a full page was really encouraging. I knew my writing abilities could be an added advantage to my goal of ensuring holistic human and ecological security.

I embarked on finding available opportunities for myself using the skills and knowledge possessed. I began by volunteering to help former classmates, who were still struggling with data analysis and could not afford hiring experts. My mission, then, was to improve on my analytical skills and research experience, as well as attain more knowledge in the topics they were studying or researching about.

Besides research, i also looked around for people who were maladjusted and negative about life. These, still, were mainly people i knew very well. Around August, 2007, my sister got the worst case ever encountered practically my me. She was half way insane; having multiple mental health problems -for which i mobilized effort to holistically handle them.

Spiritual counseling was one very basic programme that had to be adopted as foundation to other intervention measures. I am happy that it was not so long when she improved so much that in the end, all that had to be done was to ensure positive relationship circles to re-socialize her.

Much as helping others was my passion, i never forgot myself, along. Because of the kindness, my former school director showed me, it was about this time that i went to thank him. We talked a lot about the future of the school as well, since i was former head-prefect and chairman Makerere University Old Students' Association.

He charged me with a task of bringing together out-of-school former old students, which i humbly accepted. I then went and embarked on aggressive paperwork -leading to our registration as an Non Government Organization (NGO), and was soon voted to take on the position of chairman.

So, here, leadership continued to follow me. As old students, our work, basically,was to carry out career guidance, motivate and inspire continuing students -so that they too could excel in their endeavors.

While still residing around Makerere, i and some other Ugandans held study meetings about humanism, which advocated for non-violence, community health prevention, respect for diversity and tolerance to different ideologies among other things.

So, greeks who had come to introduce humanism in Ugand made me an orientator at Makerere Univerisity, which i accepted to do in the short period of time; of about a month. I am still in touch with them, though. And around march this, we will be organizing a peace march.

That experience along with others, i felt i needed to take on the challenge of empowering communities to realize their potential under my umbrella, “human and ecological security –through human and ecological justice as the path.

I felt my work had to center around that. So, i did the necessary documentation for future reference -from where i had to do consultancies in adjustment and coping, counseling and information or research support, career development concerns, project implementation, research and policy reviews, organization health and healthy human-environmental relations, etceteras.

In fact, i have written extensively along those lines. Many of my articles can be found one some websites. Actually, one website, www.ezinearticles.com elevated me to the writers' stature of expert author. Also, if my name was typed into google search engine, some of the articles could be seen. Others can be found on my blog page www.situationhealthanalysis.blogspot.com.

In the same period of time, i met a colleague whose interests where just like man. He talked so much about research in behavioral sciences, and he liked to cite even in mere conversations. I acknowledged that we could team-up and be a formidable force to change the world.

Incidentally, he had done a BSc majoring in psychology, while i had purely done psychology (community psychology). He knew almost stuff in community psychology, as well.

So, we set-off to support research needs -something that inspired both of us. In the services world, we preferred using DISHMA CONSULT and GGIG instead of our names. DISHMA is decision making and situation health management, while GGIG is gold guard international group.

As a matter of division of labor, we agreed that I manage field work, data arrangements, and overall reviews, while computerized analysis and statistics remained his. On the best days each could scoop between 300,000/- and 500,000/-.

However, we are still young in the consultancy world and feel so much expriences to again and work-related challenges ahead of us to overcome, yet at the same time, ready. For example, we would like to add more advanced formal education to enrich us in the face of fast-growing consultancy industry.

Indeed, other opportunities should always find one already busy doing something. For instance, i got a chance to train with Mildmay Paediatric Center in basic child care of children living with HIV/AIDS, which found me already doing something in psycho-social and research support.

After a while, i received an email asking me whether i could go and spend some time with Student Partnership Worldwide (SPW) -to carry out baseline surveys and empower communities -through the teaching of sexual reproductive health and life skills in rural Mayuge District.

I definitely took the offer. It was interesting experience that gave me an opportunity to practice a huge part of what i had learned as a student of community psychology. Before that i had never worked in a rural area; more so, having to facilitate learning and give speeches in Lusoga languages before people of all ages.

Well, for the young people, i was already accustomed, and also made some speeches before distinguished people. But, that was never in vernacular. Instead, it was English that was conveniently used

But, then, they were, still, activities that i ever liked doing. Actual work there was like “letting the dogs out of the kennel.” We, as a team, trekked several kilometers organizing workshops, educative video shows and community events.

From my Mayuge work with SPW, i managed not only to create lasting friendship with communities -who i still miss today, but also able to write or contribute to the global community about twenty five (25) articles from just that experience.

As if showing appreciation of my work recently, i was called by them (SPW) to train there in aspects of monitoring and evaluation before a carrying out another baseline survey, again.

Meanwhile, together as research associates or business partners -as we prefer to call ourselves, continue to offer both integrated community mental health services and support for research and information dissemination or sharing -something we all enjoy. New projects this year are functional adult literacy programmes and training in data management.

My vision still remains, “to ensure holistic human and ecological security through the basic value of justice (human and ecological justice)” that will help people realize their goals in a more comfortable and peaceful environment. And in realizing that, just as i do now, i am ready to maintain the fore-front of change and take responsibility to towards that goal.

Waiswa Jacob
Situation Health Analyst
DISHMA-CONSULT
P.O. BOX 8885
KAMPALA-UGANDA
Tel. +256774336277 or +256754890614
www.situationhealthanalysis.blogspot.com

CHILD HEALTH DEVELOPMENT: ARE PARENTAL KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS NEEDED?

Managing a family is the biggest responsibility one could think of. From the definition of a family, as the basic unit of society, one would note that everything begin with a family.
For example; responsible verses irresponsible citizenship, lazy and unproductive verses productive citizens, risky sex behaviors verses safer and health sex behaviors etcetera.

It would be at family level that most credible judgments would be made about any aspiring community leader. If one failed as head of the family or has never experienced such headship, then, there could be a reason to worry. So many dynamics of management learnt at this level would help anyone through bigger management systems.

Indeed, heads of the family do require so much to succeed. Certain knowledge and skills would be needed before joining family life. Entry would call for answers to different questions before deciding like when to marry, with whom to have children, when to have children and how many children, what would it take, what benefits, what health (cultural, religious, social, economic) values must be followed, what would be parents’ roles and responsibilities etcetera.

However, there are some people, who can be so shocking that one would wonder why they became parents. The fellows would seem as though were either raped or indecisive by nature so much that like remotest organisms never plan.

Again, they are the kinds, who say, “the gods will care, I must produce for my husband.” And, interestingly, would sound as though live a life of no purpose, so “helpless” that he or she brings forth life “without reason.”

Certain misfortune could befall a family, for example; anti-family community lifestyle, anti-family government policies or absence of supportive ones, poverty, death of one or both parents, terminal illness afflicting any of the parents, which could jeopardize amount of attention given to a child and go on to adversely affect family relations -leading to instability.

But most negative circumstances could mainly arise from seemingly “accidental” incidences that characterize no planning, no healthy family and marital values free families from lasting conflicts and trauma, and absence of national policy for healthy cultural, religious and family values –to steer families to harmony and stability.

Irresponsible parenthood would see some guardians alcoholic, abusing drugs, fighting before children, trading insults, neglecting children, showing no family concern, no responsibility, no cooperation between parents, no communication or just poor, no time for the family support and moral development, no family planning, engaging in risky sex behaviors, inconsistent disciplining or not at all bothered about child misconduct, practicing divide and rule in the family –favoring some against others and promoting child rivalry.

In turn children would make similar brand of behaviors as their parents to later start bullying school mates, fighting and assaulting others, abusing drugs and alcohol, changing love partners like balanced food diet, while other childhood development problems that may not have obvious relationship with poor parenting or parent misbehavior.

These might, for example, be poor mental and physical growth or development, homosexuality, irresistible behaviors –including sexual, poor academic and occupational function, poor interpersonal relationships, serial murdering and other criminal acts, prostitution, teenage pregnancies and related vulnerabilities, suicide and potentially at risk of contracting HIV/AIDS.

Other than just making babies as by-the-way, a parent must have planned to do so, and for the entire parenting life. It should never have been by accident as some people might say. Instead, people ought to be in control of their sex life so that ancestry troubles are checked.

But, as for a parent, time must be taken to teach children values that are important to them now, and later in future. For instance; take time to pass on information about positive clan or traditional values, constructive religious or spiritual values, life-supportive health values, gender and social values etcetera.

Imagery tentacles have to be spread at all times about child’s possible needs and action taken. Nature of influences impacting children must be identified every time and again through child’s development stages, and helping children distinguish early in life what would be best for them.

The child would need to understand life, identify usual challenges in life and demonstrate ability to overcome such obstacles using lessons learnt and embedded right down in child’s memory center -as relayed to him or her by parent.

Children, whose parents spent friendly time with them, would tend to be confident as they are able to anticipate possible scenes, yet troubling -in future and be in position to negotiate their way with ease. This could come along with an element of being bright, strongly analytical and above all; seemingly capable of leading others.



Jacob Waiswa
Situation Health Analyst
www.situationhealthanalysis.blogspot.com

PARENTHOOD: DOES IT EXIST TODAY?

ARE PARENTS DOING THEIR JOB?

Parenting is one of the most demanding stages in life –in terms of time, money and energy. Planning is, there fore, critical at this stage. This is so, because many attain the status either very early or too late in life, which could lead to unhealthy implications. Some people, because of their career orientation, could find themselves having to forego child bearing until they meet their career goals.

With unpredictable changes resulting from hormonal activity, it could be true that one of the parents was either confronted by menopause earlier than expected –may be, this time, it is at the ages between 35 and 40 or perfectionism was to blame for letting her take so long to find the right person –with whom to share child-bearing responsibilities. There are, however, some cases of people -who skip parenthood because of fertility problems.

Obviously, socio-cultural expectations would be; that one gets children to allow continuity of a clan or community, as an investment for care at old age, for companionship, to gain satisfaction upon fulfillment the goal of becoming a parent -and from successfully raising them.

Having children, whilst a teenager, is indeed, very challenging -as it might come with a number of risks. There could be, for example; possible contraction of STDs, financial difficulties, infant death and hard deliveries -because at that stage, the pelvic region may not be well developed -and lack of parental care -yet a child would need a natural environment to develop -under which care, nurturance, psychological security, supportive and loving are part.

Other dangers could be estrangement of family, school and social relations. Their expectation could have been that she or he is of the right age to have a child. Planning and decision making is, therefore, essential. It could carry about four basic questions –regarding when to marry, when to have children, how many, and with whom.

Parenthood has biological, socio-cultural, economic and political connection –all of which could be part of planning and decision-making. The aspects would guide a parenthood candidate in, fore example; safe sexual health processes and number of children, facilitating child learning and skills formation, and preparing the child for citizenship roles.

But unlike in the period before 1980s, modern times have made parenting a little harder choice to make. At most, it takes away the mutual roles that child and parent would have to create a natural bond. Today, however, ideal parents would try to balance work roles and family to help give knowledge and kills -relevant to their developmental stage.

Divorce and separation, at another moment, could be a turning point in the life of a child. In absence of one parent, communication between the missing parent and child would be remote. As a result, doors would be for substance abuse, conduct disorders, depression, low self-esteem and conduct problems -all besieging the same child.
In addition, step parents, reportedly, tend to be more hostile to the children as compared to step fathers (Fine and Kurdek, 1992). Yet children’s negative experiences have been associated with low grades at school (Dubois, Eitel and Feiner, 1994).

Moreover, the continuous conflicts and child’s negative experience too detaches him or her from social and family values. Outside the family, it would be the schools and society to suffer from juvenile delinquencies.

Normally, it would be at puberty that a child gets the full independence after gradual phases of being oriented out of the family shell. Unfortunately, by this time they would be still economically dependent on their parents. This interferes with the naturally communicated independence –from the biological point of view.
In spite of this, parents do carry out strict supervision of the child –which turns out to be a source of conflict. Meanwhile, the conflict causes terror times for both parent and child characterized by greater stress –amidst uncertainty, and discord.

A parent with low education would not easily understand child’s biological, psychological and social changes. Instead, she or he could choose to batter the child -until either of the two kills another. Moreover, they tend to be more hostile to children as compared to educated one. Yet positive exchanges between parent and child and health behaviors are crucial for successful parenthood.

However, there could be some people, who are not worthy being parents or should not have become one in the first place -regardless of parental age. They act irresponsibly, as if they only had children by accident! Actually, they deserve strongest punishment possible for destroying child’s future, earliest. Perhaps, in future, we could have mandatory interviews for prospective parents.

To note is that parent’s toxic actions towards the child could adversely affect child's physical, mental, academic and social development. In fact, it is another form of murder, this time round, called identity assassination.
All these could be occurring at the same time -when the child is facing both adolescent and multi-faceted torture from the parent. They could carry the forms of negative child labeling, verbal insults, bullying, threats to withdraw support, passive contributions to child’s development, putting forward negative wishes, suffocating child development etcetera.

A child without necessary support systems, lost self-esteem, depression, anxiety, suicide impulses, drowned in acts of substance abuse, disrupts societal peace, who under extreme circumstances, could commit suicide or cause lunacy -brings forward a serious case that should must never be taken lightly.
Such parents usually have grave lack of parental skills, while others have prejudicial backgrounds. With them, their child rearing styles tend to be worst. Giving a person, as that, a child to parent would be as good as throwing the kid to a tiger -to devour.

It is usually authoritarian –characterized by constant verbal and physical assault. Communities are usually reluctance to intervene, unless serious action murder of either child or parent -radiating from long-term silent conflicts, occurs.

Given the serious consequences resultant from bad parenting, some parents could be as good as not parents. They would not deserve the honor of parenthood. It is, rather, sheer mistake. Whether biological parent or not, there would be no relationship at all. Thus, the abused child would be as good as an orphan.

Characteristics of abusive parents could be; acting as though competitors (with child), bullying, being insensitive to children’s needs, sadism, verbal and physical aggression, maiming and suffocating child's developmental channels, arguing rather than discussing issues with child, and discouraging rather than encouraging or supporting positive attributes of a child, carrying out divide and rule policy at home –and amazingly creating rivalry and unhealthy competition among children.

Wandega (Wednesday September 10, 2008, pg 12), compared the times of African traditions and today –regarding protection of children against parental abuse. According to him, modern day parents have lost it all. There are many cases of child abuse, and pornographic material that at display every other day in Uganda.

Since they cannot easily apologize to abused children, parents become insecure (as if expecting revenge) -and see no more use in giving further support to the child. The conflict, then, could have reached so far that mending it seems impossible.

The result to it is open refusal to support the child in his developmental endeavors, become unemotional, and often use negative labels against the child with intentions to destroy (if not killing person himself) child’s personality.

Moreover, because the child has no person to talk to, or simply banned from discussions with people outside the toxic family, the child could develop suicide impulses or even carry it out.

The abused child’s day never includes resting. He or she partly acts as house-boy or house girl -yet he has to be at school, to play, do assignments and engage in entertaining activities.

Going to a boarding school could be the only escape route, though some people would wish that home problems, are solved therein. Firstly, child human development issues must have stakeholders in it –that include; schools, NGOs and even government. Secondly, the first step in mental health intervention, child must be relocated from the pathologic area.
For such children, there no more chance of ever relating to parents positively, and with evidence that it is a gone case. It would mean helping a child develop new lifestyle, as soon as possible that helps him or her to recover from the long history of family trauma, to gain self-esteem, and ultimately, facilitate him or her to get surrounded by nice people –who show care and love.

On whether children go to boarding schools or not, it is a matter of time. A boarding school for the developing child would be most suited at puberty. This is at that time that the biological clock indicates need for independence and developing of social relations.

But, before that, there must be informal sessions for the child at home to make him or her realize the changes going on in his or her body and those they are about to face. This could be, then, accompanied by imparting of skills to help child (or children) successfully move about the puberty challenges.

Children, for example, would need to learn and practice value-based skills, like decision-making, assertive skills, negotiation skills, goal setting, effective communication, and life planning skills. In addition, knowledge of adolescent changes, and contraceptive use could follow suit. These could act as reference points in the face of any developmental challenge.

The changing times require parents to mix well different roles. For example; having to attend to work and be at home -to instill morals and values in children, and monitor those “who qualify” to be in boarding school. Child-care, being a hectic role could be a joint venture between parents and schools. At one stage, society could come in.

It is, by doing so, that the parent would be able to track development progress of the child and gain confidence upon having knowledge of how children are fairing. Any parent, who never works with schools in child development, is nothing, but a stranger to his own child.

Interestingly, the lazy parent puts all the trust in the kid, expecting him to report what transpired at school -while sometimes claiming to be busy. But this would be the best moment for the children attain the highest pick of freedom to experiment even the “no fly zones” -like; misappropriation of school fees, report card forging and abandoning or dropping out of school without notice of the parent.

From such parental ill behaviors, wouldn’t we be nurturing potential corrupt government officials for the future? From the above scenarios, surely, occurrence of many other bad consequences of any kind would not be a surprise. The question would, then, be: what role, as a parent, did you play?

Jacob Waiswa
Situation Health Analyst
+256774336277
waiswajacobo@yahoo.co.uk