Decision making referred to a choice reached after verifying available options to pursue a specific cause –which carried consequences (good and bad). It was as a result of a cost-benefit analysis of having children that a prospecting parent made, rather than making decisions based on urges or feelings because they (urges or feelings) did not think apart from causing excitement.
Attachment denoted the nature of the bond between the mother and the child while level of attachment implied the degree of the existing bond between the mother and the baby or child. And circumstances at conception were merging issues during, or at conception while for environment, experts attribute the term environment to virtually everything visible, invisible, practiced, imagined, or reasoned and about life processes –including man himself, or her self –and all interacting and relating in a certain way with each other.
Children in Uganda have been most marginalized with child-friendly health services only limited to referral hospitals. Elsewhere in the country children share facilities and health care services with adults –an indiscriminate administration of health, yet special care for them was paramount. Direct, structural and institutionalized violence too claims the lives and right morals of children. Domestic violence does not only take the life of one of the parents, but also is psychological violence –moreover the worst a human being can experience that, now, becomes a children affair to deal with or shared experience upon observing parents fight.
Cultural environment –which is discriminative according to gender; never recognizes the rights of children –and the reproductive health rights of women have turned out to be a huge and overwhelming social cost –inclusive of HIV spread and under-development. It becomes a way of life that suffocates the rights of women and children as men behave the way they want as suggested by their cultures.
The economic environment disables parent’s ability to further children’s education, or not even at all affording it, yet it is through child education that the future a community is secured with a productive citizenry. The cycle continues from children dropping out of school and opting to marry or succumbing to wrong and untimely choice to conceive, then the burden becomes a product to be handed over from one generation to another –rendering the talk of children rights a dream.
Now, that way of life is one that begins to dictate the quality of life of a children, level of attachment –where insecurities and future behavioral problems begin, irresponsible parenthood, reckless and risky behaviors of a parents as children observe, low or no health seeking as there will be no money and, ultimately, no motivation to adopt a healthy lifestyle –even when health guidelines are issued –which in turn affects children health, leads to broken family situations, or broken marriage relationships –and which as the saying goes, “if elephants fight it is the grass that suffers,” the consequences accruing from broken-family situation hit children hardest as all the anger gets projected to them in form of abuse and neglect.
And in bid to come out of poverty traps using the much respected cultural or traditional remedy systems, children, still, are the soft target like commodities (without life) to offer to the gods. These are innocent children: why all that? What about the plight children in areas once ravaged by war in northern and north eastern Uganda? How about those affected by annual floods and, in recent years, the landslides? Is our scope of children health catering for that? It is from such grounds that families and communities face accountability for in the child’s teen or youthful years. No shall we have a moral fabric in society, violent free generations because society simply ignores the root causes of structural violence –whose origin is quality of care of children right from conception. And who should save the children of Uganda?
Parenting is, thus, a responsibility one finds himself or herself under voluntarily or involuntary. During adolescence, gradual changes that may be cognitive, emotional, biological, physical and social or environment occur. The qualities of changes are influenced by how well decisions are made at different levels of interaction (cognition, instinct or biology, emotional, social and/or natural environment) in relation to one’s sexuality. It all begins at conception –through important stages of birth, special care of newborns, weaning, and child in playful stage, socialization and learning, gender roles or interests, young stardom, youthful period and adulthood.
Becoming a parent was not only an urge, or by accident as some young women say, but an issue to think about critically before making a decision, not even pressure from elders or traditions counted. It was important to look at children as human capital of the future –through integrating health care, nutrition, and early child care services for young children in developing countries. Problems faced by children in early years, such as stunted mental and physical development and lack of preparation for school set the stage for low academic achievement, high drop out, functional illiteracy, lack of productivity in the work force –and even delinquencies and dependency on society (Young M., 1996).
It did not matter what age of pregnancy, but from the time of conception. But for the purposes of this submission care had to start from the time one started developing feeling to become mother or father, because ultimately the quality of decisions made counted in determination child health. Brain studies demonstrated that early years were critical in the development of intelligence, personality, and social behavior before the age of three. Environment, thus, dramatically affected how the infant brain developed –moreover the impact of early childhood programs on personality and behavior became significant and long-lasting. Indeed childhood education reduced social costs, juvenile delinquencies and drug use (Young M., 1996).
Under difficult or challenging parenting environments, HIV/AIDS emerged as an environment problem as young people and parents were pressured to adopt risky behaviors as means to “survive.” According to Tigawalana D. (Sunday Monitor Sept. 19, 2010), Young people between the ages of 15 and 24 constituted young women as most vulnerable –unexplainable by biological factors, but gender inequalities that existed in African society.
More than 5000 women still died every year in child birth across the globe –with the majority of deaths occurring in developing countries –where health systems were weak or non-functional –and health workers scarce (Lirri, Sunday Monitor July 31, 2010).
In the review on orphans and vulnerable children policy, ministry of gender, labor and social development (2004), 38 of the population lived in absolute poverty –constituting 62% of children. And the number of children living below the poverty line was likely to rise due to high fertility rates, HIV/AIDS, other preventable diseases and insecurity. The causes of poverty included limited access to productive assets (especially women), limited utilization of improved production technologies, large families, alcoholism, unemployment, lack of markets, inadequate opportunities for education and lack of information.
“…so many children in need of education but numbers are so overwhelming. If there’s any support your organization can give us, that’s welcome. Government has given due attention to basic education resulting into substantial increase in enrollment. Unfortunately, there has been decline in primary school retention in the past few years due to high drop-outs."
Geoffrey Muzusa,
Community Development Officer, Jinja
Child care was a cost the prospecting parents needed to think about long before deciding to conceive. In fact, child care began at conception. Pregnancy as physiological stress when various body functions of the mother underwent strain, need an excellent died to keep replenishing the body. With ante natal requiring time, rural areas were located several distances from health centers, so it was less likely that affected parents would visit ante natal clinic as advised.
Yet because of the need for PMTCT, to help the mainly teenagers to conceive safely, and those with height related defects (short parents) associated to difficulty delivery as well as to receive counseling on issues related to physiological reactions of the mother, appropriate dressing of mother and child, appropriate diet, preventive measures against malaria, handling of sibling rivalry and children discipline (Ebrahim G.J., 1971).
While appreciating Ebrahim G.J. (1971) understanding of pregnancy as a physiological reaction, one important component ought not to be underestimated –the psychological implications (e.g. anxiety and depression). Successful child care ought to put that into consideration, otherwise the psychological implications potentially turned out to be the most damaging to the child, or baby. Cumberbatch CJ Eta l (2005) revealed that conditions that were, themselves, psychosocial: anxiety disorders (GAD, OCD, panic disorder, PTSD), mood disorders, and schizophrenia, all of which were a background for a disturbed pregnancy would complicate pregnancy denominated high risk for some other reason.
25% of adolescents became pregnant at 19 as by 2006. Fertility was high at 6.9 children per woman (2001). Contraceptive prevalence rate was at 22.8% in 2001 and 23.7% in 2006. Only 14% of the people were employed in wage employment and the rest in self employment in the informal sector. Females constituted majority of the population at 51%, 32% females at the age of 10 were illiterate, 36% reached primary level, and 18% secondary (National Population Policy for Social Transformation and Sustainable Development, 2008). It was, however, impressive to note improvement in decision making by adolescents as by 2006 could conceive at 19 years. With wage employment at 14% and contraceptive use at 23.7%, the situation was getting better. If decision makers embarked on developing the education sector to have more children complete secondary and train in skills formation, then Uganda would be in a pole position to not only improve livelihoods but make child care as a right real.
Broken-family events are a result of extended family system to stand the test of times (twentieth and twenty first century new world order). As the urge to have children arose as traditionally demanded from the ages of 18 and above or less, the new order, instead, required productivity of prospecting parents before, at all, they decided to have children. Having children is thus no longer fashionable, nor marrying until one’s decision was in agreement with the new order.
Those who are there even when economically liberated will tell you that things are not really good while gaining confidence that God will provide. The question of sustainability of care and love within a family set-up is ignored yet critical. It is, therefore, important that policy makers embark on massive gender-conscious literacy or education program intertwined with aspects that address reproductive health concerns, impart life skills, or vocational skills –all of which empower communities with tools of rightful decision making that go as far as influencing health children development, or for that make transform children rights talk from theory to practice. When structural change is registered, no more shall see Bukedde news paper pictures of sacrificed children or domestic violence, among other concerns.
Jacob Waiswa
Graduate Peace and Conflict Studies Program
Makerere University
P.O. Box 7062,
Kampala-Uganda
jwaiswa@arts.mak.ac.ug
Showing posts with label PARENTHOOD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PARENTHOOD. Show all posts
Monday, October 4, 2010
Thursday, September 11, 2008
PARENTHOOD: DOES IT EXIST TODAY?
ARE PARENTS DOING THEIR JOB?
Parenting is one of the most demanding stages in life –in terms of time, money and energy. Planning is, there fore, critical at this stage. This is so, because many attain the status either very early or too late in life, which could lead to unhealthy implications. Some people, because of their career orientation, could find themselves having to forego child bearing until they meet their career goals.
With unpredictable changes resulting from hormonal activity, it could be true that one of the parents was either confronted by menopause earlier than expected –may be, this time, it is at the ages between 35 and 40 or perfectionism was to blame for letting her take so long to find the right person –with whom to share child-bearing responsibilities. There are, however, some cases of people -who skip parenthood because of fertility problems.
Obviously, socio-cultural expectations would be; that one gets children to allow continuity of a clan or community, as an investment for care at old age, for companionship, to gain satisfaction upon fulfillment the goal of becoming a parent -and from successfully raising them.
Having children, whilst a teenager, is indeed, very challenging -as it might come with a number of risks. There could be, for example; possible contraction of STDs, financial difficulties, infant death and hard deliveries -because at that stage, the pelvic region may not be well developed -and lack of parental care -yet a child would need a natural environment to develop -under which care, nurturance, psychological security, supportive and loving are part.
Other dangers could be estrangement of family, school and social relations. Their expectation could have been that she or he is of the right age to have a child. Planning and decision making is, therefore, essential. It could carry about four basic questions –regarding when to marry, when to have children, how many, and with whom.
Parenthood has biological, socio-cultural, economic and political connection –all of which could be part of planning and decision-making. The aspects would guide a parenthood candidate in, fore example; safe sexual health processes and number of children, facilitating child learning and skills formation, and preparing the child for citizenship roles.
But unlike in the period before 1980s, modern times have made parenting a little harder choice to make. At most, it takes away the mutual roles that child and parent would have to create a natural bond. Today, however, ideal parents would try to balance work roles and family to help give knowledge and kills -relevant to their developmental stage.
Divorce and separation, at another moment, could be a turning point in the life of a child. In absence of one parent, communication between the missing parent and child would be remote. As a result, doors would be for substance abuse, conduct disorders, depression, low self-esteem and conduct problems -all besieging the same child.
In addition, step parents, reportedly, tend to be more hostile to the children as compared to step fathers (Fine and Kurdek, 1992). Yet children’s negative experiences have been associated with low grades at school (Dubois, Eitel and Feiner, 1994).
Moreover, the continuous conflicts and child’s negative experience too detaches him or her from social and family values. Outside the family, it would be the schools and society to suffer from juvenile delinquencies.
Normally, it would be at puberty that a child gets the full independence after gradual phases of being oriented out of the family shell. Unfortunately, by this time they would be still economically dependent on their parents. This interferes with the naturally communicated independence –from the biological point of view.
In spite of this, parents do carry out strict supervision of the child –which turns out to be a source of conflict. Meanwhile, the conflict causes terror times for both parent and child characterized by greater stress –amidst uncertainty, and discord.
A parent with low education would not easily understand child’s biological, psychological and social changes. Instead, she or he could choose to batter the child -until either of the two kills another. Moreover, they tend to be more hostile to children as compared to educated one. Yet positive exchanges between parent and child and health behaviors are crucial for successful parenthood.
However, there could be some people, who are not worthy being parents or should not have become one in the first place -regardless of parental age. They act irresponsibly, as if they only had children by accident! Actually, they deserve strongest punishment possible for destroying child’s future, earliest. Perhaps, in future, we could have mandatory interviews for prospective parents.
To note is that parent’s toxic actions towards the child could adversely affect child's physical, mental, academic and social development. In fact, it is another form of murder, this time round, called identity assassination.
All these could be occurring at the same time -when the child is facing both adolescent and multi-faceted torture from the parent. They could carry the forms of negative child labeling, verbal insults, bullying, threats to withdraw support, passive contributions to child’s development, putting forward negative wishes, suffocating child development etcetera.
A child without necessary support systems, lost self-esteem, depression, anxiety, suicide impulses, drowned in acts of substance abuse, disrupts societal peace, who under extreme circumstances, could commit suicide or cause lunacy -brings forward a serious case that should must never be taken lightly.
Such parents usually have grave lack of parental skills, while others have prejudicial backgrounds. With them, their child rearing styles tend to be worst. Giving a person, as that, a child to parent would be as good as throwing the kid to a tiger -to devour.
It is usually authoritarian –characterized by constant verbal and physical assault. Communities are usually reluctance to intervene, unless serious action murder of either child or parent -radiating from long-term silent conflicts, occurs.
Given the serious consequences resultant from bad parenting, some parents could be as good as not parents. They would not deserve the honor of parenthood. It is, rather, sheer mistake. Whether biological parent or not, there would be no relationship at all. Thus, the abused child would be as good as an orphan.
Characteristics of abusive parents could be; acting as though competitors (with child), bullying, being insensitive to children’s needs, sadism, verbal and physical aggression, maiming and suffocating child's developmental channels, arguing rather than discussing issues with child, and discouraging rather than encouraging or supporting positive attributes of a child, carrying out divide and rule policy at home –and amazingly creating rivalry and unhealthy competition among children.
Wandega (Wednesday September 10, 2008, pg 12), compared the times of African traditions and today –regarding protection of children against parental abuse. According to him, modern day parents have lost it all. There are many cases of child abuse, and pornographic material that at display every other day in Uganda.
Since they cannot easily apologize to abused children, parents become insecure (as if expecting revenge) -and see no more use in giving further support to the child. The conflict, then, could have reached so far that mending it seems impossible.
The result to it is open refusal to support the child in his developmental endeavors, become unemotional, and often use negative labels against the child with intentions to destroy (if not killing person himself) child’s personality.
Moreover, because the child has no person to talk to, or simply banned from discussions with people outside the toxic family, the child could develop suicide impulses or even carry it out.
The abused child’s day never includes resting. He or she partly acts as house-boy or house girl -yet he has to be at school, to play, do assignments and engage in entertaining activities.
Going to a boarding school could be the only escape route, though some people would wish that home problems, are solved therein. Firstly, child human development issues must have stakeholders in it –that include; schools, NGOs and even government. Secondly, the first step in mental health intervention, child must be relocated from the pathologic area.
For such children, there no more chance of ever relating to parents positively, and with evidence that it is a gone case. It would mean helping a child develop new lifestyle, as soon as possible that helps him or her to recover from the long history of family trauma, to gain self-esteem, and ultimately, facilitate him or her to get surrounded by nice people –who show care and love.
On whether children go to boarding schools or not, it is a matter of time. A boarding school for the developing child would be most suited at puberty. This is at that time that the biological clock indicates need for independence and developing of social relations.
But, before that, there must be informal sessions for the child at home to make him or her realize the changes going on in his or her body and those they are about to face. This could be, then, accompanied by imparting of skills to help child (or children) successfully move about the puberty challenges.
Children, for example, would need to learn and practice value-based skills, like decision-making, assertive skills, negotiation skills, goal setting, effective communication, and life planning skills. In addition, knowledge of adolescent changes, and contraceptive use could follow suit. These could act as reference points in the face of any developmental challenge.
The changing times require parents to mix well different roles. For example; having to attend to work and be at home -to instill morals and values in children, and monitor those “who qualify” to be in boarding school. Child-care, being a hectic role could be a joint venture between parents and schools. At one stage, society could come in.
It is, by doing so, that the parent would be able to track development progress of the child and gain confidence upon having knowledge of how children are fairing. Any parent, who never works with schools in child development, is nothing, but a stranger to his own child.
Interestingly, the lazy parent puts all the trust in the kid, expecting him to report what transpired at school -while sometimes claiming to be busy. But this would be the best moment for the children attain the highest pick of freedom to experiment even the “no fly zones” -like; misappropriation of school fees, report card forging and abandoning or dropping out of school without notice of the parent.
From such parental ill behaviors, wouldn’t we be nurturing potential corrupt government officials for the future? From the above scenarios, surely, occurrence of many other bad consequences of any kind would not be a surprise. The question would, then, be: what role, as a parent, did you play?
Jacob Waiswa
Situation Health Analyst
+256774336277
waiswajacobo@yahoo.co.uk
Parenting is one of the most demanding stages in life –in terms of time, money and energy. Planning is, there fore, critical at this stage. This is so, because many attain the status either very early or too late in life, which could lead to unhealthy implications. Some people, because of their career orientation, could find themselves having to forego child bearing until they meet their career goals.
With unpredictable changes resulting from hormonal activity, it could be true that one of the parents was either confronted by menopause earlier than expected –may be, this time, it is at the ages between 35 and 40 or perfectionism was to blame for letting her take so long to find the right person –with whom to share child-bearing responsibilities. There are, however, some cases of people -who skip parenthood because of fertility problems.
Obviously, socio-cultural expectations would be; that one gets children to allow continuity of a clan or community, as an investment for care at old age, for companionship, to gain satisfaction upon fulfillment the goal of becoming a parent -and from successfully raising them.
Having children, whilst a teenager, is indeed, very challenging -as it might come with a number of risks. There could be, for example; possible contraction of STDs, financial difficulties, infant death and hard deliveries -because at that stage, the pelvic region may not be well developed -and lack of parental care -yet a child would need a natural environment to develop -under which care, nurturance, psychological security, supportive and loving are part.
Other dangers could be estrangement of family, school and social relations. Their expectation could have been that she or he is of the right age to have a child. Planning and decision making is, therefore, essential. It could carry about four basic questions –regarding when to marry, when to have children, how many, and with whom.
Parenthood has biological, socio-cultural, economic and political connection –all of which could be part of planning and decision-making. The aspects would guide a parenthood candidate in, fore example; safe sexual health processes and number of children, facilitating child learning and skills formation, and preparing the child for citizenship roles.
But unlike in the period before 1980s, modern times have made parenting a little harder choice to make. At most, it takes away the mutual roles that child and parent would have to create a natural bond. Today, however, ideal parents would try to balance work roles and family to help give knowledge and kills -relevant to their developmental stage.
Divorce and separation, at another moment, could be a turning point in the life of a child. In absence of one parent, communication between the missing parent and child would be remote. As a result, doors would be for substance abuse, conduct disorders, depression, low self-esteem and conduct problems -all besieging the same child.
In addition, step parents, reportedly, tend to be more hostile to the children as compared to step fathers (Fine and Kurdek, 1992). Yet children’s negative experiences have been associated with low grades at school (Dubois, Eitel and Feiner, 1994).
Moreover, the continuous conflicts and child’s negative experience too detaches him or her from social and family values. Outside the family, it would be the schools and society to suffer from juvenile delinquencies.
Normally, it would be at puberty that a child gets the full independence after gradual phases of being oriented out of the family shell. Unfortunately, by this time they would be still economically dependent on their parents. This interferes with the naturally communicated independence –from the biological point of view.
In spite of this, parents do carry out strict supervision of the child –which turns out to be a source of conflict. Meanwhile, the conflict causes terror times for both parent and child characterized by greater stress –amidst uncertainty, and discord.
A parent with low education would not easily understand child’s biological, psychological and social changes. Instead, she or he could choose to batter the child -until either of the two kills another. Moreover, they tend to be more hostile to children as compared to educated one. Yet positive exchanges between parent and child and health behaviors are crucial for successful parenthood.
However, there could be some people, who are not worthy being parents or should not have become one in the first place -regardless of parental age. They act irresponsibly, as if they only had children by accident! Actually, they deserve strongest punishment possible for destroying child’s future, earliest. Perhaps, in future, we could have mandatory interviews for prospective parents.
To note is that parent’s toxic actions towards the child could adversely affect child's physical, mental, academic and social development. In fact, it is another form of murder, this time round, called identity assassination.
All these could be occurring at the same time -when the child is facing both adolescent and multi-faceted torture from the parent. They could carry the forms of negative child labeling, verbal insults, bullying, threats to withdraw support, passive contributions to child’s development, putting forward negative wishes, suffocating child development etcetera.
A child without necessary support systems, lost self-esteem, depression, anxiety, suicide impulses, drowned in acts of substance abuse, disrupts societal peace, who under extreme circumstances, could commit suicide or cause lunacy -brings forward a serious case that should must never be taken lightly.
Such parents usually have grave lack of parental skills, while others have prejudicial backgrounds. With them, their child rearing styles tend to be worst. Giving a person, as that, a child to parent would be as good as throwing the kid to a tiger -to devour.
It is usually authoritarian –characterized by constant verbal and physical assault. Communities are usually reluctance to intervene, unless serious action murder of either child or parent -radiating from long-term silent conflicts, occurs.
Given the serious consequences resultant from bad parenting, some parents could be as good as not parents. They would not deserve the honor of parenthood. It is, rather, sheer mistake. Whether biological parent or not, there would be no relationship at all. Thus, the abused child would be as good as an orphan.
Characteristics of abusive parents could be; acting as though competitors (with child), bullying, being insensitive to children’s needs, sadism, verbal and physical aggression, maiming and suffocating child's developmental channels, arguing rather than discussing issues with child, and discouraging rather than encouraging or supporting positive attributes of a child, carrying out divide and rule policy at home –and amazingly creating rivalry and unhealthy competition among children.
Wandega (Wednesday September 10, 2008, pg 12), compared the times of African traditions and today –regarding protection of children against parental abuse. According to him, modern day parents have lost it all. There are many cases of child abuse, and pornographic material that at display every other day in Uganda.
Since they cannot easily apologize to abused children, parents become insecure (as if expecting revenge) -and see no more use in giving further support to the child. The conflict, then, could have reached so far that mending it seems impossible.
The result to it is open refusal to support the child in his developmental endeavors, become unemotional, and often use negative labels against the child with intentions to destroy (if not killing person himself) child’s personality.
Moreover, because the child has no person to talk to, or simply banned from discussions with people outside the toxic family, the child could develop suicide impulses or even carry it out.
The abused child’s day never includes resting. He or she partly acts as house-boy or house girl -yet he has to be at school, to play, do assignments and engage in entertaining activities.
Going to a boarding school could be the only escape route, though some people would wish that home problems, are solved therein. Firstly, child human development issues must have stakeholders in it –that include; schools, NGOs and even government. Secondly, the first step in mental health intervention, child must be relocated from the pathologic area.
For such children, there no more chance of ever relating to parents positively, and with evidence that it is a gone case. It would mean helping a child develop new lifestyle, as soon as possible that helps him or her to recover from the long history of family trauma, to gain self-esteem, and ultimately, facilitate him or her to get surrounded by nice people –who show care and love.
On whether children go to boarding schools or not, it is a matter of time. A boarding school for the developing child would be most suited at puberty. This is at that time that the biological clock indicates need for independence and developing of social relations.
But, before that, there must be informal sessions for the child at home to make him or her realize the changes going on in his or her body and those they are about to face. This could be, then, accompanied by imparting of skills to help child (or children) successfully move about the puberty challenges.
Children, for example, would need to learn and practice value-based skills, like decision-making, assertive skills, negotiation skills, goal setting, effective communication, and life planning skills. In addition, knowledge of adolescent changes, and contraceptive use could follow suit. These could act as reference points in the face of any developmental challenge.
The changing times require parents to mix well different roles. For example; having to attend to work and be at home -to instill morals and values in children, and monitor those “who qualify” to be in boarding school. Child-care, being a hectic role could be a joint venture between parents and schools. At one stage, society could come in.
It is, by doing so, that the parent would be able to track development progress of the child and gain confidence upon having knowledge of how children are fairing. Any parent, who never works with schools in child development, is nothing, but a stranger to his own child.
Interestingly, the lazy parent puts all the trust in the kid, expecting him to report what transpired at school -while sometimes claiming to be busy. But this would be the best moment for the children attain the highest pick of freedom to experiment even the “no fly zones” -like; misappropriation of school fees, report card forging and abandoning or dropping out of school without notice of the parent.
From such parental ill behaviors, wouldn’t we be nurturing potential corrupt government officials for the future? From the above scenarios, surely, occurrence of many other bad consequences of any kind would not be a surprise. The question would, then, be: what role, as a parent, did you play?
Jacob Waiswa
Situation Health Analyst
+256774336277
waiswajacobo@yahoo.co.uk
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